Tag Archives: s & m

style icon: dita von teese

posted by:  audra

well, you all should know by now that i absolutely adore dita.  the queen of burlesque.  i love her so, so much that i would happily skin her alive & fucking wear her.  i daydream about it quite frequently, in fact.  always clad in vintage-y garb, pretty lingerie & flawless makeup, she’s quite possibly my number one style icon.

come love her with me, my dirty little piglets!  today we’ll be delving deep inside dita.  oooh, good title for a porn, don’t you think?!

ms. dita von teese was actually born on september 28, 1972 as heather renee sweet in rochester, michigan.  her mum, a manicurist, was super-into old hollywood glamour & screen actresses of the 1940s…which, in turn, rubbed off on dita when she was a little girl.  of course, when dita was older, she became obsessed with vintage glam:  red lippy, finger-waves, corsets & stockings.

at a young age, dita trained as a ballerina until she was 15; when she became a stripper at 18, dita would incorporate her ballet skillz into her performances.  she thought that the typical dancer’s routines were dull & such, so she created her own — complete with seamed stockings, a basque, hair done up in a beehive & long gloves.  delicious.

soon after the stripping gig, she began fetish modeling…and amid my investigation work on wikipedia, i learned this:

Through the wearing of a corset for many years, she had reduced her natural waistline to 22 inches and can be laced down as far as 16.5 inches.

um…why haven’t i tried this yet?!  amazing.  anyway, then came the playboy layouts & the famous burlesque shows to follow.  more recently, she’s done modeling for my bffs jean paul gaultier, heatherette & vivs westwood & is a spokesmodel for mac cosmetics.  of course!  hearts.

as if that weren’t enough to make me want to eat her [out], i read this little nugget:

“The one time I hired a stylist, they picked up a pair of my 1940s shoes and said, ‘These would look really cute with jeans.’ I immediately said, ‘You’re out of here.'”

and theeeen…ready?  you’d better pour a drink & sit down for this one: she dyes her blonde hair black, always does her own makeup.  and!  her beauty mark?!  fake! god, it’s like we were separated at birth!  i’ve always felt like i had a sister.  combine that with her love of bondage and her pasty & tasty complexion…?  jesus.  she’s better than huffing sharpie pens.

sweet dita dreams, my sweets.  you’re welcome.


Filed under fashion

audra: oh, bettie…

i’m so heartbroken…my beloved bettie page died yesterday at the age of 85.  i feel so daft too; i didn’t even know she had been in a coma for the past week following a heart attack, after a bout with pneumonia.  poor thing.  is that what she gets for becoming a born-again christian?

after some investigation, i learned that the fetish icon didn’t even begin her pinup career until she was 27.  bettie was just a secretary strolling along coney island beach when a photog spotted her & asked to take her picture.   next thing you know, she’s wearing next to nothing, bound & gagged, in front of a camera.   27.  there’s hope for me yet.  and did you know that she was determined schizophrenic in 1979 following an arrest for a row with her landlady?  seriously you guys, it doesn’t get any better than a slightly violent, mentally unstable, lingerie-clad black-haired vamp with bangs wielding a leather whip.  it just doesn’t.

i will miss her terribly…but it’s sort of like she’s already been dead for thirty years or more, since she has shied away from interviews, photographers & such for so long.  she didn’t want to be photographed as an old woman.  amen.  speaking of amen, even with the years of working for billy graham & becoming one of those crazy christian missionaries, i will forgive her.   and i will think of her tonight when i trim my bangs & play dress up…i’ll have to dig out a corset for that first, of course.

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Filed under Celebrity Death