Tag Archives: pedegg

a town called malice

posted by:  audra

well, kittens…  what is everyone doing this weekend?  gallivanting gayly through the woods?  going on a three-day drinking/show bender?  attending a  housewarming thrown by one of the best party-throwers you know?  using the pedegg for the first time?  buying a bumpit & making your hair luxuriously big?

i think it’s safe to say i won’t be doing any of these things over the weekend.   buuut, don’t fret:  lots of drinking will ensue.  for suresies.

sam & i will be crossing many a county line tomorrow morning, somewhat early-ish, to stay with my parents for a few days.  seeing them will be nice, but i’m never real enthused to go back to my hometown.  i don’t belong there, & every time i go back i feel more detached from it.   in a good way.  thanks, baby jesus!  but…my parents are fun.  they like the sauce.  and not in a ‘hey-that’s-my-beer-cozy!’ way, either.   there’s pinochle…lots of it.   i hate card games, really i do — well, all games in general actually — but i’m rather good at this one & it makes me feel smarter & cunning, much like a fox in drag.

but anyway!  honestly, i’d much rather stay in pdxoxo this weekend, maybe see a show, perhaps watch the boys in the band again, & definitely cook something.  it seems like it’s been months since i made something in the kitchen that didn’t have to be slit open to allow steam to escape whilst in the microwave.  pathetic!

fuck, where was i going with this…?  random, right?!  oh well.  it’s gone too far now that it’s impossible for me to slow my roll.  i’ll try to keep it on track for you, loves.  i suspect that i will get lots of magazining done this weekend, as there’s not much to do when one is 200 miles away from the nearest sephora.  i may even take pictures of this event.  like i did at thanksgiving, reading up on demi-glace in my mom’s saveur, in the guest bed, at 3am.  the lump on the right in the photograph is sam’s leg:

i thought i would come home, become an expert, make demi-glace & blog about it.

i made it as far as the reading part.

i blame the article that was likely about booze, with a title stolen from david sedaris.  well, maybe he’s not the origin of the phrase, but i’d like to think he is:

this time i intend to get caught up on all sorts of fashion news…i think i’m at least two issues of harper’s bazaar and vogue behind!  i have a stack of food mags as well…there will be absolutely no excuse for me not to cook now.  none at all.  i’ll take drunken photographs too, just as proof!  you’re excited!

i take that back — if it gets hotter than fuck next week upon our return, i will not be cooking.  i’ll be doing cocktail hours out, perhaps before getting a cock in my tail.  what?!  i know.  this is a bullshit post & i’m sorry!  the next one will be worth your time!  promise!

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dear minion…

posted by:  audra

i’m so sorry, my little loyal art chokers.  we have really put the lazy into lame recently, yeah?  well.  sam & i have gotten all kinds of flack from a few of you…you know who you are!   and we live to make you happy.  really.  so, here you go…

okay, pour a drink & sit yourself down…it’s time for the latest installment of new stuff i want!  i just read about these things in the news:

mac fix + rose.  style.com described it like this:

“…designed to both refresh and finish makeup with a cooling burst of hydration that adds radiance to even the most caked-on foundation.”

totally sold!  doesn’t that sound like something you can’t possibly live without?!    also, they are going to be adding 100 percent natural rose water as part of mac’s new rose romance collection.  ooh la lohan!  delicious, right?!  i particularly really hate the summer months for its sweat-producing qualities, but this mist sounds like a real face-saver.  yes it does!

and theeen, i saw these little gems of lipstick love:  rouge g de guerlain. yes, the case is a little ridiculous & excessive, & i would probably fight with it all the time, just like the tarte pressed mineral powder compact debacle (did i tell you about that?!  don’t buy it!  it’s orangy & the packaging is retarded.  i returned it.)…but whatever.  it’s so cute & glamorous! supposedly, there are ground ruby crystals(!) in the formula to diffract light & such…tiger grass for a fuller lip effect…and wild mango butter to lube up your lips real good.  i’m more of a gloss girl, but i totally have to buy me one of these!  even if it’s only to say, “how do you like my new lip rouge?”  i just really like saying rouge.

anyway.  next!

mac prep + prime transparent finish powder.  okay, so this isn’t really new…but i haven’t used it yet, and it sounds fucking brilliant!  a finishing powder that invisibly sets makeup.  it’s supposed to keep you matte & make your pores look…well, way smaller.  whilst i’m at it, i have been using dr. brandt pores no more, & speaking of fucking brilliant, it is!  i am a greasy little piggie at times, but since i’ve been using this little miracle (a deluxe sample courtesy of sephora), my pores seem more refined & i don’t really have to powder my nose as often.  it feels really nice going on…like a dry cream or something, only without being dry.  i don’t know.  just buy it.

and just one more thing!  two actually.  these are sort of embarrassing.  well, really embarrassing, & kind of gross…but i really want this & this! whatever…say what you will about the pedegg, but i’ve heard really good things! i met this woman in a crappy little sports bar down the street from our place, & she said that it’s awesome…aside from dumping out the “parmesan cheese” leftover.  oh well! it’s better than sitting on the living room floor with a metal foot exfoliator in one hand & a towel in the other!

wow.  this post went downhill fast.  maybe next up is the smooth away review?

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