Tag Archives: makeup

um…

posted by:  audra

i know, right?  just be happy that yours truly has an important enough job that i don’t spend hours of the workday blogging any longer. or don’t be.  your choice.

the latest assorted treats, in list form…because i’m lazy:

*a single man.  um–turns out, tom ford, the love of my life, can direct!  so beautiful it’s nearly unspeakable.  just watch it.  so pretty….slow, but i promise it will hold your attention, hence the prettiness.

and speaking of beautiful films…

*antichrist.  i was all up in arms to see this months ago, and finally saw it the last weekend.  i have a problem with lars von trier even though i think he’s kind of amazing, but this film is brilliant.  SPOILER ALERT!  clit cutting & ejaculating blood.  combined with charlotte gainsbourg, willem dafoe & witchcraft = kinda perf.  but once you see ‘her’ whip out the scissors, look away if you’re faint of heart.

*this is old news now, but  trust me–if you make a group of your friends watch it, it will spark controversy & they’ll be talking about it long after you’ve slammed your ginger infused vodka & smoked 4 ciggies.   even if it puts you all in a tizzy & you think it has nothing to say… isn’t the mish accomplished?

*what the fuck is wrong with me that i haven’t blog-lamented lee mcqueen’s devastating suicide?!  what a tool.  seriously.

*whilst i love my favorite bar, i truly wish that i could dismember nearly every regular patron of that place.  and i’m so tired of the self-righteous, holier-than-thou fucks there that i can’t even stand myself any longer.  the gentleman i’ve affectionately nicknamed ‘headphones’?  he’s fine.  sam’s stalker?  even he’s fine.  but the retards who play quarters at the bar have got to go.  really?  you guys are like, 35.  and you have cat hair caked to the ass of your fucking skinny jeans & stupid hipster cardigans.  i’m not interested in you beating my awesome team at bar trivia, either.  fuck you, your douchebaggery, zig zags & loose american spirit tobacco.

*mos qui qui bites are sick, and you’ll totally look like a severe acne victim, post evening stroll up the street unless you protect yourself with pure vanilla extract on your pulse points!  it works–promise!  this learned after enduring 28 bites.  and actually, after discovering this super-important tip, i pretty much doused my entire body with vanilla extract.  you’ll smell like junior high (vanilla fields!), but i’m certain that it will keep you mos qui qui free.  but bees like it.  be careful, babies.

*landlords sometimes do awesome things!  they may actually clean up their shop/studio/rat’s nest with rad galvanized siding and leave a treat from their vacay to greece on your door!

*some quick product reviews from me that i know you’ve missed…

korres soft eyeliner pencil in black is rather… um, really good.  it glides on perfectly smooth, stays on & will set you back about 16 bucks or something.  take it from a girl who wears a whole lot of eyeliner.

sephora shadow also is really good!  even though i shied away from sephora brand stuff before, for whatever reason, it’s really good!  not spectacular, nothing special….just….good.  $12.

korres wild rose face shit is totally, perfectly amazing!  32 bucks will get you a humble little jar of awesome that smells good & makes your medicine cabinet look stylish.  and!  what’s even better, is that it only takes a tiny dab to make your skin nice.  you’re welcome!  my only complaint is that possesses a mere 6(!) spf.  fucking greeks.

more philosophy lip shine!  this time in bubble gum, yet i still want to eat it.  so awesome.  $10.

don’t buy this hairspray!  “brushable hold” and “lightweight” means that it doesn’t work.  at all.

*my jam right now, not to mention completely exquisite video:

*this too…..um, boys in stilettos & fishnets?!  sigh…

*…and this song which i’m totally obsessed with:

sadly, that’s all i have at the moment.  love you, miss you, mean it!

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time sensitive material

posted by:  audra

every fucking night when i’m about to pop some roofies & slip on my satin leopard print, i ask myself, ‘audra, why is it you waste so much time, you wasteful time-waster?  and how come you never, ever get anything accomplished, ever?!’ this has really been bothering me lately.  i never seem to have the “time” to clean the house, get more than one load of laundry done — let alone put said laundry away after it’s clean — and definitely never have time to do any sort of fat-burning activity.

…even though i used to come home & do so every night, as well as tidy up a spot, and manage to get to bed before midnight.

…and let it be noted that no, indeed, i have not resorted to drinking more.

i think it’s my new morning routine that has set me up for failure…?  when i had more of this luxury called time, i would get up promptly at 5 o’clock-ish on a weekday, shower, go about my business & actually make it to work on time without a trace of panic.  now, my alarm goes off at 5:20.  i turn it off & wait for sam to shower first & wait for him to wake me.  he does so sometimes at 5:20, if i’ve already turned the alarm off…then again at 5:30.  lately, it’s been the third (sometimes fourth) attempt at 5:40 (or 5:50) that gets me up…and it’s been a lethargic, dirty-housed downward spiral since.  makes sense, right?

i’m now on a personal mish to make more time for myself, so i can actually keep my household up, perhaps cook something during the week(!), and still have plenty of gooey makeout time with the television, a wine bottle & my chaise.

alright.  so.  get your fancy panties on!  better yet – take them off!  get comfortable.  it’s time for a day in the life of yours truly!  and just so we’re clear, of course, this is weekday stuff only.  but i shouldn’t have to tell you that.  in fact, we’ll just use today as an example for funsies.  indeed, what did i do today?  where does all my time go?  i’m dying to know…you are too…

  • 5:40 am:  currently my typical wake-time, but 20 minutes behind what’s ideal for my morning routine.
  • 5:41 am:  get in shower immediately.  since i’ve saved time by shaving the night before, i can be out in less than 10 minutes.  i’ve also decided to only shampoo my hair once a day, so i’ve shaved a couple of minutes off there, too.  score.  i do however, at least condition my hair in the morning.
  • 5:50 am:  smelling like peppermint, i’m out in 9 minutes.  that’s good, right?  normally i could probably do 5 minutes, but today was a struggle.
  • 5:51 am:  detangle hair, wrap in towel.  moisturize everything…face first, then extremities & special girl bits.
  • 5:55 am:  apply anti-persperant/deodorant.
  • 6:00 am:  jesus!  i’m starting to see where my time is going in the morning…it takes 10 minutes to put on moisturizer?!
  • 6:01 am:  start makeup ritual.  eyebrows always first.  then eye makeup.  base, shadow, liner, more shadow, then glue on lashes.
  • 6:15 am:  while lash glue sets, i blowdry my hair after applying product.
  • 6:20 am:  get coffee & prepare a lovely english muffin for breaky.
  • 6:30 am:  sit outside with coffee & ciggie.
  • 6:37 am:  check email & such.
  • 6:45 am:  heat up flat irons & continue the getting ready process — apply mascara, some foundation.
  • 6:50 am:  turn the dryer on from the night before if clothes need the wrinkles taken out of them.
  • 6:55 am:  straighten my hair.  it really only takes about 10 minutes from start to finish, but for some reason it always takes me longer when i’m in a hurry.  of course.
  • 7:15 am:  complete makeup — finishing powder, lippy, what-have-you.
  • 7:25 am:  attempt to get dressed.  even if i have laid out everything the night before, it never fails; i stuggle finding fishnets or my bra.  every.  time.
  • 7:31 am:  leave the house.
  • 8:10 am:  arrive at workplace.  there was traffic, so i was late.  beautiful.  one would think that 29 minutes is more than adequate time to drive 12 miles.
  • 5:46 pm:  arrive at le cuntington manor.  traffic was a fucking mess & i’ll keep quiet my bitching about bad driver stereotypes.
  • 5:47 pm:  take off my shiny manolos & notice that the heels need repairing already.  of course.
  • 5:47 pm:  bitch about traffic.  bitch about how hot it is.  bitch about the humidity.
  • 5:47 pm:  note how i’m sweating like a fat girl writing her first love letter.
  • 5:48 pm:  open beer.
  • 5:49 pm:  smoke outside with the mr.
  • 6:00 pm:  do a quick inventory & determine that we, in fact, do not need to go to the store like i’d originally planned.  yes!
  • 6:01 pm:  notice that i’m star-ving & perhaps should have a snack?  maybe early dinner?  maybe not, because then i’ll just be starving at 10:00 & drunk & then drunk-snack?
  • 6:05 pm:  elect a snack of salami & a sharp white cheddar.
  • 6:06 pm:  change into a long black chemise i wore several years ago when i was bettie page for halloween.  it’s too hot for yoga pants.
  • 6:16 pm:  check email & update blog.
  • 6:25 pm:  look at the tele (family guy), consider changing channels & then notice my hands are dry.  perhaps i could use a fresh coat of polish, too…?
  • 6:26 pm:  see what sam’s doing.  ‘is that freddie mercury?’ i ask.  ‘it’s about queen.’ he replies.  ‘even better’ (sarcastically).  i exit the room.
  • 6:31 pm:  reenter kitchen.  put away cheese & salami.  consider doing a load of laundry, but determine it’s too stuffy to do so.
  • 6:32 pm:  consider picking out an outfit for tomorrow, but determine i’m too sick of what’s in my closet to do so.
  • 6:33 pm:  pick at imaginary things on my back & think about what interesting things i could possibly do tonight to make this blog more exciting.
  • 6:35 pm:  save draft, fix a v & t with exxxtra lime, and retreat to the veranda to have a fag.  and a cigarette, too.
  • 6:59 pm:  decide to wear my standard uniform tomorrow; a black skirt, black top & whatever heels aren’t tore up from the floor up.
  • 7:01 pm:  start washing machine…with, my specialty:  5 items or less…which is ridiculous & obviously the reason as to why i’m forever doing laundry.
  • 7:03 pm:  settle into my chaise with the queen documentary on the bio channel & my july issue of nylon.
  • 7:05 pm:  i didn’t last long…in fact, i never “settled in” at all.  the documentary was boring & sam was reading a book.
  • 7:06 pm:  working on this retarded time-wasting blog…
  • 8:07 pm:  i’m done.  clearly, my dawdling/blogging/procrastinating are the culprits.  and possibly getting up late & spending too much time getting ready.

time elapsed: approximately 15 hours, give or take.  you’re welcome.

you see what i do for you guys?!  sigh…  and now i’m missing the david bowie bio.  thanks a lot, assholes.

good night, babies.  i do love you.

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dear bathroom wrecker:

posted by:  audra

whilst i will stick by the well-known fact that girls don’t do gross things, ever, it has come to my attention that someone is violating this rule in my workplace.  it is not someone i work with directly (i think), but likely someone in a different office downstairs.

after le lunch, i like to leisurely perform my afternoon makeupping rituals & brush my teeth, smooth my hair…whatever sort of maintenance that needs to be done gets done at this time.  i like the downstairs loo, as it gets a lot less traffic & the lighting is much better.  lately – and i use “lately” loosely, as it’s been the past 2 or 3 months – someone has been taking it upon themselves to “unwind” in there on a daily basis…and right before i do my daily grooming in there.

not cool.

who.  does.  that?!  every day?!  not only the act of doing it at work, but leaving evidence behind!  lots of it!  fucking gross!  the tweaked-out skanks i see at dive bars are even able to flush properly!  jesus christ!  i mean, really!   am i going to have to start driving all the way to nordstrom to the ladies lounge area just to put on some fucking makeup at lunch?!  get it together & leave your business at home, lady!  i just want my bathroom back!

sigh.  the even more disturbing part is that i’m pretty sure i’ve pinpointed the person who is ruining my life.   we arrive & depart work at the exact same time every day.  she’s much older than i…maybe in her mid-forties, & super dumpy.  pretty much my worst nightmare.  stringy hair, no makeup.  baggy sweatshirts & mom jeans deluxe.  and she’s got a wicked frump resting on her midsection.

anyway.  i went 2 days in a row this week where i didn’t have to deal with any “evidence”, & that made me very happy.  until today.  it had returned, & i even tried getting back from lunch early!  either flush twice, or stop eating activia or whatever!  but you know, i shouldn’t even have to worry about stupid shit like that!  how sad is it that a clean toilet bowl is enough to make better my afternoon?!  really fucking sad!

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drugstore things & such that don’t totally suck

posted by:  audra

i dedicate this one to the lush list, my favorite beauty blog!  get excited.  ready?

i’m a total product snob…i can’t help it.  ever since my mom bought me a tube of lancôme définicils mascara when i was 15, i never (willingly) went back to cheap mascara…or any cheap cosmetic for that matter.  but, occasionally, you’re in the middle of getting ready & realize that you’re out of ysl liquid eyeliner.  shit!  what to do?!  sephora is too far away, so that’s out of the question.  no.  you pull on your stretchy black yoga pants & go to the drugstore down the way.  here are some of my favorites…

speaking of liquid eyeliner, wet ‘n’ wild actually makes a really good one.  it’s like 2 bucks, so who cares if you’ve screwed the cap on so tight that it cracked & then dried up(!)?  the container is pretty cute, but i have to admit that having wet ‘n’ wild in my makeup bag is a little embarrassing…so i’m happy when the lettering wears off & leaves me with a clean, black vial.  oh my god, how shallow is that?!

anyway.  next!

burt’s bees carrot nutritive night creme is awesome.   i’ve used many a high-end night creme & i prefer this one.  it’s not really a ‘creme’, it’s more of just a creamy-ish oil.  so many oils.  like, 7 or 8(!).  the first time i put this on, i thought it was trouble.  so oily! my bangs stuck to my forehead & if i moved my head real quick to one side, my hair would stick to my cheeks.  gross.  but! you think you will awaken to a broken-out face & looking like a greasy little piggy…but you don’t.  you’ll wake up with smooth skin that’s perfectly moisturized & soft.

ardell lashes.  again, i’ve tried the high-end lashes; the mac ones were the worst!  terribly flimsy…so much so that i got so pissed & irritated trying to get them on that i ended up cutting them in half & just using the outside portions.  what a disaster.  that was over a year ago, & i remember that night like it was yesterday…i threw a tantrum in the bathroom & theatened not going out & staying home because i couldn’t get my ‘fucking lashes on right’.  so dramatic!  anyway, these always stay firm enough to set them on your natural lashes & they don’t fall before the glue sets, but flexible enough so you are able to move them around some, if need be.  i finish mine with a coat of mascara to blend the lashes & am usually able to rewear them 3 or 4 times…just be sure to put them back onto the platform overnight to hold their shape!

veet.  my best friend forever.  love of my life.  the magic foaming cream that makes my naughty bits smooth.  i love this shit. but!  do not use this on your testicles!  bad things happen!  and for god’s sake, don’t stand in the kitchen texting whilst veeting your special girl bits!  you may accidentally drop your phone into your business & be picking dried veet out from the keypad for months.

st. ives microdermabrasion.  yes, yes…again, i’ve used dozens of high-end scrubs, but i love this.   i exfoliate my shit twice a day, so i’m not about to pay 50 bucks an ounce for something that i’m just going to run out of in a week.  so there.  it just makes my face perfectly polished afterward & smells nice.  and i like to think that i’m getting rid of fine lines & the beginning stages of crow’s feet, too.

does it count if it’s a salon brand?!  whatever.  pureology colourmax.  i hadn’t used any pureology products until my husband won a raffle at a rose city rollers benefit last year.  it was a gift bag filled with pureology, innersense (which is amazing!), and porn.  pureology is 100% vegan & stuff, which is nice…but i really just like how it smells.  like roses.  it’s supposed to extend the life of your hair color…but does it really matter if my hair color’s permanent?  the thing i really want to prevent is root-growth; but that can only be solved by dyeing my hair again.  after i wash my hair at night, i hose it down with this stuff & then blow-dry it.  my hair literally feels like straw during the day with all the product in it & this stuff restores it to its naturally silky state!

okay!  my last thing is an impulse buy that i picked up the other night.  i don’t even know why i was in the aisle…but i grabbed the garnier nutritioniste nutri-pure detoxifying wet cleansing towelettes, just for funsies.  for whatever reason, i was  really excited to try them.  so, i ripped off my lashes & went to town.  i was skeptical…but! these cleaned my face perfectly!  it claims to instantly remove makeup & mascara, & it totally does!  and i wear a shit ton of makeup!  my nars eyeliner that doesn’t come off, even after showering & cotton-swabbing?  gone!  my mac mascara x that’s impossible to remove sometimes?  also gone!  and no eye irratation.  none.  you’d better believe i was really scrubbing my eyes hard, too.  they smell good & i thought my face would be dry afterwards…but instead it felt moist & supple.  my skin is  super-sensitive & i haven’t broken out yet…well, there’s one obscene blemish on my face that refuses to leave, but that was before i bought these…i’ll let you know how it goes.

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dear minion…

posted by:  audra

i’m so sorry, my little loyal art chokers.  we have really put the lazy into lame recently, yeah?  well.  sam & i have gotten all kinds of flack from a few of you…you know who you are!   and we live to make you happy.  really.  so, here you go…

okay, pour a drink & sit yourself down…it’s time for the latest installment of new stuff i want!  i just read about these things in the news:

mac fix + rose.  style.com described it like this:

“…designed to both refresh and finish makeup with a cooling burst of hydration that adds radiance to even the most caked-on foundation.”

totally sold!  doesn’t that sound like something you can’t possibly live without?!    also, they are going to be adding 100 percent natural rose water as part of mac’s new rose romance collection.  ooh la lohan!  delicious, right?!  i particularly really hate the summer months for its sweat-producing qualities, but this mist sounds like a real face-saver.  yes it does!

and theeen, i saw these little gems of lipstick love:  rouge g de guerlain. yes, the case is a little ridiculous & excessive, & i would probably fight with it all the time, just like the tarte pressed mineral powder compact debacle (did i tell you about that?!  don’t buy it!  it’s orangy & the packaging is retarded.  i returned it.)…but whatever.  it’s so cute & glamorous! supposedly, there are ground ruby crystals(!) in the formula to diffract light & such…tiger grass for a fuller lip effect…and wild mango butter to lube up your lips real good.  i’m more of a gloss girl, but i totally have to buy me one of these!  even if it’s only to say, “how do you like my new lip rouge?”  i just really like saying rouge.

anyway.  next!

mac prep + prime transparent finish powder.  okay, so this isn’t really new…but i haven’t used it yet, and it sounds fucking brilliant!  a finishing powder that invisibly sets makeup.  it’s supposed to keep you matte & make your pores look…well, way smaller.  whilst i’m at it, i have been using dr. brandt pores no more, & speaking of fucking brilliant, it is!  i am a greasy little piggie at times, but since i’ve been using this little miracle (a deluxe sample courtesy of sephora), my pores seem more refined & i don’t really have to powder my nose as often.  it feels really nice going on…like a dry cream or something, only without being dry.  i don’t know.  just buy it.

and just one more thing!  two actually.  these are sort of embarrassing.  well, really embarrassing, & kind of gross…but i really want this & this! whatever…say what you will about the pedegg, but i’ve heard really good things! i met this woman in a crappy little sports bar down the street from our place, & she said that it’s awesome…aside from dumping out the “parmesan cheese” leftover.  oh well! it’s better than sitting on the living room floor with a metal foot exfoliator in one hand & a towel in the other!

wow.  this post went downhill fast.  maybe next up is the smooth away review?

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make-up art cosmetics…

posted by:  audra

…is a really dumb name for a company, don’t you think?  i particularly have a problem with the dash in makeup.  thank heavens they go by mac instead!  this is part two of my cosmetic review for the lush list, but this time we’re exploring mac(!).  i’m so excited for this…so very excited!  i absolutely adore mac products; they’re fairly inexpensive, good quality & dressed in black.  honestly, what could be better?!

i believe the first product of mac’s i tried was the select sheer pressed powder.  i wore this one for years.  the only real problem i had with it was cakiness after a couple touch-ups.  and i touch-up a lot…really, i have a problem.  oh, and it gets progressively darker throughout the day/evening, but i suspect that might’ve been the oxidation of my foundation…which we’ll discuss later.  so i switched.  to the blot powder ($21).  it’s more sheer, & it’s a little whiter than the select sheer, which is nice for my pasty & tasty complexion. i just now realized the irony:  that the blot powder is more sheer than the sheer powder.  huh.  interesting.  so, moving on…the blot powder does it’s job; it blots & acts (mostly) like a translucent powder, but it has a tendency to sit on top of the skin…not cool!  a lot of times i felt totally gothed out with my white face & dark eye-makeup…especially so when i had on red lipstick, too.   what a nightmare.  i would recommend the blot powder, but i’ve since switched to laura mercier translucent pressed setting powder ($30).  i’m much happier with her!

foundation.  i don’t really need it; i have nice skin.  i just don’t feel complete without it.  i love, love, loved mac’s select spf 15 foundation.  so, of course, they would stop making my shade (nc15).  sure, they make my shade in other products, but i tried the studio fix fluid & hated it.  it was much darker than the select spf stuff & made me break out.  it felt a lot oilier too…gross.  i went back to the select spf & tried another shade.  it still seemed too dark for me.  sigh!  i just gave up all together & bought some lorac.

okay.  lip gloss.  the lush list isn’t wild about glosses, but i live for them!  and i like to call them ‘lippies’.  other than dior, i firmly believe mac makes the best glosses glasses…plushglass, lustreglass, clear lipglass…oh god, i think my head may explode.  my standby is the clear lipglass.  it looks perfect over a sheer lipstick (my choice is a viva glam stick, but i’ve used it so much the shade number has worn off!) & doesn’t run when i put too much on(!).  it lasts longer than most glosses & stays on even during beer-drinking & lip-licking.  my other favorites are plushglass in nice buzz ($17.50) & lustreglass in instant gold ($14).  both are perfectly shiny with just enough sparkle.  the plushglass is fun with a little cinnamony-tingly treat in it!   and i like lustreglass for it’s little brush applicator.

i’m in lust with eye brows.  the pencil is super thin, self-sharpening & comes in a jet black shade called velvetone.  it goes on smooth, even when i’m shaking from being over-caffeinated & hungover in the morning.  loves!  $14.50.

mac’s eye shadows are rad.  pretty long-wearing, although not as long-wearing as nars…but good nonetheless.  again, they stopped making my favorite shade, suspicion.  it was this amazing black-brown with little gold flecks in it.  so cute!  right now i use a mix of black tied, smut (both velvet finishes), white frost (frost finish, obvs!) & a surprisingly nice shade of brown, called brun (satin finish).  clarity (matte) is fucking awesome.  i hardly ever wear it; i have a hard time pulling off really bright eye color, but i still love it!  clarity is the bright blue shadow on the left.  so cute!

one mac product i’m not happy with is mascara x, $12.50.  the brush shape is fine, but the mascara itself is somehow messier than any other mascara i’ve used ever.  i don’t know why.  it always ends up under my eyes when i’m doing my lower lashes & i just hate it!  so annoying.  zoom lash i’m not wild about either; the brush is just too tiny & pathetic.  the description of zoom lash is “this instant volume mascara power-lifts the lashes into length, curls them up…builds them faster than you can wink!”  whatever.  i just got a clumpy un-curled mess!  it’s terrible.  plush lash,$12,  on the other hand, is good stuff.  buy this one.  the tube does tend to dry out pretty quickly & cause flaking, but i just buy another fresh tube!

mac eye liners are amazing too!  my very favorite is the technakohl liner in graphblack.  it’s creamy, but stays in place pretty well.  blendable/smudge-able.  and!  self-sharpening.  love that.  i’ve been wanting to try their liquid liner, but haven’t yet…maybe soon-ish?  i tried the powerpoint liner awhile back, & wasn’t loving it…it sharpened weird.  and it’s waterproof, which makes it nearly impossible to remove…even with makeup remover. eye kohl is nice too, if you don’t mind sharpening it.  i buy it in smolder.  all the liners i’ve mentioned here are $14.50.

paints, $16.50.  these are cute little tubes of liquid eye color.  i wanted to love them, but i haven’t been impressed.  i bought some quite awhile ago & used it maybe once or twice.  from what i remember, it was difficult to blend & i recall some nasty flaking going on as well.  i may try to use it again, just to be certain that i hate it…but if i were you, i would avoid this mess!  i have heard really good things about the paint pots though:  nice pigment, long-wearing & blendable.

on to nail lacquer!  i love me some nail polish.  just recently, sam & i went shopping; i accidentally came home with something like 10 or 12 bottles of new polish.  whoopsie!  mac’s nail lacquer ($11), i think, is totally worth the eleven bucks.   where else can you get something named varicose violet?!  and steamy is a really good hot pink…it’s my favorite.  it seems to last maybe a little bit longer than drugstore polish, & it goes on smoothly.

okay.  i think that does it…but i’m sure i’m forgetting something.  i’ll dig around in my old makeup tonight & see if i can find anything else for you.  in the meantime, go to mac & buy some delicious lippy!  the makeup artists in the stores/at the counters are so hot & they’ll also do your makeup for you, free of charge!

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friends with benefit

posted by:  audra

i’ve been sort of lacking for blog material lately…so when the writer of my new favorite blog the lush list asked me about which products from benefit cosmetics i liked/didn’t like/didn’t like but kept using anyway, i thought i’d use it to my advantage.  lush list gets her review, & i have something to post!  everyone wins, everyone’s happy.

i’d like to start by saying that benefit has the best packaging ever.  everything is cute in a kitschy-but-glam way.  i feel prettier just looking through the catalog…really(!).   but, i have a problem with more than one of their products.  for the most part, i feel like the products are sort of half-assed…like they spent all their time & energy designing the packaging, & then threw together a mediocre cosmetic to fill it.  i haven’t used benefit for the bulk of my cosmetics in several years — i’ve since switched to mostly nars & mac — but i was a loyal benefit devotee for a number of years, & i feel like i should pay my respects…

the cutest (& longest lasting) product of benefit’s i have is the glamorous gabbi makeup bag ($26).  i’ve had it for something like 4 years, & it’s still in really good shape.  just look how glamorous she is!  i also have the luscious lana large makeup tote($38).   it’s big enough to fit all of my necessary bathroomy items at home or while traveling, & totally worth paying for…both of them still look new!

the benetint rose-tinted lip & cheek stain.  this is an amazing product.  i used it all the time…until the lid cracked & it spilled all over my makeup bag & cabinet.  it’s waterproof, which added to this unfortunate accident.  i miss that bottle!  it gives you this perfectly natural & naughty looking rosy blush to the cheek.  benetint ($28.00) looks especially amazing when combined with high beam:

high beam is something i have to use only occasionally.  it’s a bit greasy feeling & makes my cheeks break out if i use it more than once a week…but i do have super-sensitive skin…it’s probably just right for most!  mix it into your moisturizer, or rub a small dollop into your legs for a little sheen.  so cute! $24.

speaking of legs with sheen, this is one of my favorites from benefit:  body so fine velvet body balm.  whilst it’s not really moisturizing, it’s super glamorous & smells divine.  i’ve had the same tin for at least 3 years, so a little goes a long way. $30.

benetint lip balm.  this one’s a huge disappointment.  i love how it smells (like roses!) & the color is pretty too.  but it totally dries up my lips to that nasty tight feeling like i’ve been licking them out in the cold wind all day.  you can get the same effect just by dabbing on a dot of benetint stain & sliding your own lip balm over the top.  $20.

kitten classic sparkling powder in a puff.  i love this.  love! again, i’ve had this little gem for several years & she still has most of her nine lives left.  lightly scented, the puff distributes tiny (& tastful, not whore-ish) sparkles on your skin.  $26.

lipscription.  one tube is an exfoliating lip scrub, the other is a lip moisturizing tube of lusciousness.  who doesn’t want to use something called ‘dr. feelgood’?!  i heart this really hard! $32.

another amazing product i love:  “touch me then try to leave”… cream.  best when used after bathina sweet satin shave (which perhaps they don’t make anymore…?), it’s heaven-scented & luxuriously buttery.  $30.

something i used for a couple of years before i realized that it was crap is get even.  it only comes in 3 shades, which means it’s hard to get a perfect match to your  skin tone.  i’m a pasty pinkish pale white & this just doesn’t do it. $30.

another thing i really hated after purchase was brow zings brow shaping kit.  this too, only comes in 3 shades.  the brushes are so ridiculously tiny that you will definitely have to get your own real sized ones.  the powder didn’t stay put & the wax part was just oily.  sigh…what a nightmare this was!  $30.

surprisingly (or maybe not so surprising to you), benefit makes excellent skincare products.  quickly, my 3 favorites:  dear john facial cream, $32, makes an amazing night cream; honey… snap out of it! morning exfoliating scrub, $28, doubles as a mask!; and they used to make this really delicious gel pineapple scrub…but i don’t see it on the website anymore.  tear!

quite possibly one of the best blushes/face powders ever, dandelion.  i’m totally converted to nars orgasm blush now, but still use this one every now & then. $28.

last & sort of least is the gloss ($16).  i went through countless tubes of this one.  it looked good, but didn’t last.  so i’d put more on.  if i put just a little too much on, it would run.  as in, off my lower lip.  like i was drooling. not cute.  and then if i kept a tube for too long & went back to use it after some time had gone by, it smelled funny.  sort of like rotting fruit.  then i discovered that i could get a much higher quality gloss for a couple bucks less at mac.  after the gloss incident(s), i sort of just stopped shopping benefit…but after this whole bit, i kinda miss it!

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