Tag Archives: mac

style icon: dita von teese

posted by:  audra

well, you all should know by now that i absolutely adore dita.  the queen of burlesque.  i love her so, so much that i would happily skin her alive & fucking wear her.  i daydream about it quite frequently, in fact.  always clad in vintage-y garb, pretty lingerie & flawless makeup, she’s quite possibly my number one style icon.

come love her with me, my dirty little piglets!  today we’ll be delving deep inside dita.  oooh, good title for a porn, don’t you think?!

ms. dita von teese was actually born on september 28, 1972 as heather renee sweet in rochester, michigan.  her mum, a manicurist, was super-into old hollywood glamour & screen actresses of the 1940s…which, in turn, rubbed off on dita when she was a little girl.  of course, when dita was older, she became obsessed with vintage glam:  red lippy, finger-waves, corsets & stockings.

at a young age, dita trained as a ballerina until she was 15; when she became a stripper at 18, dita would incorporate her ballet skillz into her performances.  she thought that the typical dancer’s routines were dull & such, so she created her own — complete with seamed stockings, a basque, hair done up in a beehive & long gloves.  delicious.

soon after the stripping gig, she began fetish modeling…and amid my investigation work on wikipedia, i learned this:

Through the wearing of a corset for many years, she had reduced her natural waistline to 22 inches and can be laced down as far as 16.5 inches.

um…why haven’t i tried this yet?!  amazing.  anyway, then came the playboy layouts & the famous burlesque shows to follow.  more recently, she’s done modeling for my bffs jean paul gaultier, heatherette & vivs westwood & is a spokesmodel for mac cosmetics.  of course!  hearts.

as if that weren’t enough to make me want to eat her [out], i read this little nugget:

“The one time I hired a stylist, they picked up a pair of my 1940s shoes and said, ‘These would look really cute with jeans.’ I immediately said, ‘You’re out of here.'”

and theeeen…ready?  you’d better pour a drink & sit down for this one: she dyes her blonde hair black, always does her own makeup.  and!  her beauty mark?!  fake! god, it’s like we were separated at birth!  i’ve always felt like i had a sister.  combine that with her love of bondage and her pasty & tasty complexion…?  jesus.  she’s better than huffing sharpie pens.

sweet dita dreams, my sweets.  you’re welcome.

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dear minion…

posted by:  audra

i’m so sorry, my little loyal art chokers.  we have really put the lazy into lame recently, yeah?  well.  sam & i have gotten all kinds of flack from a few of you…you know who you are!   and we live to make you happy.  really.  so, here you go…

okay, pour a drink & sit yourself down…it’s time for the latest installment of new stuff i want!  i just read about these things in the news:

mac fix + rose.  style.com described it like this:

“…designed to both refresh and finish makeup with a cooling burst of hydration that adds radiance to even the most caked-on foundation.”

totally sold!  doesn’t that sound like something you can’t possibly live without?!    also, they are going to be adding 100 percent natural rose water as part of mac’s new rose romance collection.  ooh la lohan!  delicious, right?!  i particularly really hate the summer months for its sweat-producing qualities, but this mist sounds like a real face-saver.  yes it does!

and theeen, i saw these little gems of lipstick love:  rouge g de guerlain. yes, the case is a little ridiculous & excessive, & i would probably fight with it all the time, just like the tarte pressed mineral powder compact debacle (did i tell you about that?!  don’t buy it!  it’s orangy & the packaging is retarded.  i returned it.)…but whatever.  it’s so cute & glamorous! supposedly, there are ground ruby crystals(!) in the formula to diffract light & such…tiger grass for a fuller lip effect…and wild mango butter to lube up your lips real good.  i’m more of a gloss girl, but i totally have to buy me one of these!  even if it’s only to say, “how do you like my new lip rouge?”  i just really like saying rouge.

anyway.  next!

mac prep + prime transparent finish powder.  okay, so this isn’t really new…but i haven’t used it yet, and it sounds fucking brilliant!  a finishing powder that invisibly sets makeup.  it’s supposed to keep you matte & make your pores look…well, way smaller.  whilst i’m at it, i have been using dr. brandt pores no more, & speaking of fucking brilliant, it is!  i am a greasy little piggie at times, but since i’ve been using this little miracle (a deluxe sample courtesy of sephora), my pores seem more refined & i don’t really have to powder my nose as often.  it feels really nice going on…like a dry cream or something, only without being dry.  i don’t know.  just buy it.

and just one more thing!  two actually.  these are sort of embarrassing.  well, really embarrassing, & kind of gross…but i really want this & this! whatever…say what you will about the pedegg, but i’ve heard really good things! i met this woman in a crappy little sports bar down the street from our place, & she said that it’s awesome…aside from dumping out the “parmesan cheese” leftover.  oh well! it’s better than sitting on the living room floor with a metal foot exfoliator in one hand & a towel in the other!

wow.  this post went downhill fast.  maybe next up is the smooth away review?

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make-up art cosmetics…

posted by:  audra

…is a really dumb name for a company, don’t you think?  i particularly have a problem with the dash in makeup.  thank heavens they go by mac instead!  this is part two of my cosmetic review for the lush list, but this time we’re exploring mac(!).  i’m so excited for this…so very excited!  i absolutely adore mac products; they’re fairly inexpensive, good quality & dressed in black.  honestly, what could be better?!

i believe the first product of mac’s i tried was the select sheer pressed powder.  i wore this one for years.  the only real problem i had with it was cakiness after a couple touch-ups.  and i touch-up a lot…really, i have a problem.  oh, and it gets progressively darker throughout the day/evening, but i suspect that might’ve been the oxidation of my foundation…which we’ll discuss later.  so i switched.  to the blot powder ($21).  it’s more sheer, & it’s a little whiter than the select sheer, which is nice for my pasty & tasty complexion. i just now realized the irony:  that the blot powder is more sheer than the sheer powder.  huh.  interesting.  so, moving on…the blot powder does it’s job; it blots & acts (mostly) like a translucent powder, but it has a tendency to sit on top of the skin…not cool!  a lot of times i felt totally gothed out with my white face & dark eye-makeup…especially so when i had on red lipstick, too.   what a nightmare.  i would recommend the blot powder, but i’ve since switched to laura mercier translucent pressed setting powder ($30).  i’m much happier with her!

foundation.  i don’t really need it; i have nice skin.  i just don’t feel complete without it.  i love, love, loved mac’s select spf 15 foundation.  so, of course, they would stop making my shade (nc15).  sure, they make my shade in other products, but i tried the studio fix fluid & hated it.  it was much darker than the select spf stuff & made me break out.  it felt a lot oilier too…gross.  i went back to the select spf & tried another shade.  it still seemed too dark for me.  sigh!  i just gave up all together & bought some lorac.

okay.  lip gloss.  the lush list isn’t wild about glosses, but i live for them!  and i like to call them ‘lippies’.  other than dior, i firmly believe mac makes the best glosses glasses…plushglass, lustreglass, clear lipglass…oh god, i think my head may explode.  my standby is the clear lipglass.  it looks perfect over a sheer lipstick (my choice is a viva glam stick, but i’ve used it so much the shade number has worn off!) & doesn’t run when i put too much on(!).  it lasts longer than most glosses & stays on even during beer-drinking & lip-licking.  my other favorites are plushglass in nice buzz ($17.50) & lustreglass in instant gold ($14).  both are perfectly shiny with just enough sparkle.  the plushglass is fun with a little cinnamony-tingly treat in it!   and i like lustreglass for it’s little brush applicator.

i’m in lust with eye brows.  the pencil is super thin, self-sharpening & comes in a jet black shade called velvetone.  it goes on smooth, even when i’m shaking from being over-caffeinated & hungover in the morning.  loves!  $14.50.

mac’s eye shadows are rad.  pretty long-wearing, although not as long-wearing as nars…but good nonetheless.  again, they stopped making my favorite shade, suspicion.  it was this amazing black-brown with little gold flecks in it.  so cute!  right now i use a mix of black tied, smut (both velvet finishes), white frost (frost finish, obvs!) & a surprisingly nice shade of brown, called brun (satin finish).  clarity (matte) is fucking awesome.  i hardly ever wear it; i have a hard time pulling off really bright eye color, but i still love it!  clarity is the bright blue shadow on the left.  so cute!

one mac product i’m not happy with is mascara x, $12.50.  the brush shape is fine, but the mascara itself is somehow messier than any other mascara i’ve used ever.  i don’t know why.  it always ends up under my eyes when i’m doing my lower lashes & i just hate it!  so annoying.  zoom lash i’m not wild about either; the brush is just too tiny & pathetic.  the description of zoom lash is “this instant volume mascara power-lifts the lashes into length, curls them up…builds them faster than you can wink!”  whatever.  i just got a clumpy un-curled mess!  it’s terrible.  plush lash,$12,  on the other hand, is good stuff.  buy this one.  the tube does tend to dry out pretty quickly & cause flaking, but i just buy another fresh tube!

mac eye liners are amazing too!  my very favorite is the technakohl liner in graphblack.  it’s creamy, but stays in place pretty well.  blendable/smudge-able.  and!  self-sharpening.  love that.  i’ve been wanting to try their liquid liner, but haven’t yet…maybe soon-ish?  i tried the powerpoint liner awhile back, & wasn’t loving it…it sharpened weird.  and it’s waterproof, which makes it nearly impossible to remove…even with makeup remover. eye kohl is nice too, if you don’t mind sharpening it.  i buy it in smolder.  all the liners i’ve mentioned here are $14.50.

paints, $16.50.  these are cute little tubes of liquid eye color.  i wanted to love them, but i haven’t been impressed.  i bought some quite awhile ago & used it maybe once or twice.  from what i remember, it was difficult to blend & i recall some nasty flaking going on as well.  i may try to use it again, just to be certain that i hate it…but if i were you, i would avoid this mess!  i have heard really good things about the paint pots though:  nice pigment, long-wearing & blendable.

on to nail lacquer!  i love me some nail polish.  just recently, sam & i went shopping; i accidentally came home with something like 10 or 12 bottles of new polish.  whoopsie!  mac’s nail lacquer ($11), i think, is totally worth the eleven bucks.   where else can you get something named varicose violet?!  and steamy is a really good hot pink…it’s my favorite.  it seems to last maybe a little bit longer than drugstore polish, & it goes on smoothly.

okay.  i think that does it…but i’m sure i’m forgetting something.  i’ll dig around in my old makeup tonight & see if i can find anything else for you.  in the meantime, go to mac & buy some delicious lippy!  the makeup artists in the stores/at the counters are so hot & they’ll also do your makeup for you, free of charge!

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the black hole of toiletries

posted by:  audra

i’m a hoarder.  i’ll be the first to admit it, & i sort of like it a little.  my bathroom items are the absolute hardest hit; makeup, lotions, potions, razors, creams…it goes on & on.

so sunday afternoon i decided to get rid of all this shit that falls out of the bathroom cabinets every time i grab some hairspray.  whilst doing so, i compiled a horrendously long list.  i still can’t believe all of this even fit in our tiny powder room!  let’s take a look…

  • 4 veet hair removal “razors”
  • 1 pregnancy test, 3 years past its expiration date.  i took it — just in case.  i’m not pregnant.
  • 12 nail files
  • 3 empty tampon boxes
  • 3 vibrators
  • 6 (at least) bottles of dried up nail polish i’ve had since high school
  • 18 bottles of good nail polish
  • 1 package of gold sequins…spilled in the drawer(!)
  • 19 full vials of perfume samples
  • 4 empty hairspray cans; 2 sebastian & 2 bed head
  • 1 full tube of lancôme faux gloss…it’s supposed to be silver, now it has a green tint to it
  • 2 empty exfoliating scrubs
  • 5 bottles of tanning solution, all full + tanning goggles
  • 2 empty handcream jars
  • 1 antique lipstick holder
  • 3 empty mac foundations
  • 2 sets of toe separators
  • 1 dior lipgloss box
  • 1 full bottle of ky lube…the warming kind
  • 2 benefit cosmetics compacts
  • 2 nars compacts, both with crumbled powder in them
  • 1 empty mac mascara
  • 2 eyelash curlers
  • 14 (almost) empty mac compacts…to my horror, these cost me nearly $300…this isn’t including the dozens of mac compacts that actually made it into the trash bin.
  • 4 full sets of lashes; 4 boxes of individual lashes; 3 tubes of lash glue
  • 2 curling irons; 1 crimper; 1 set hot rollers
  • 14 (!) burt’s bees lip balms, various, mostly the honey kind
  • 3 empty narciso rodriguez for her perfume bottles

…and that’s not even everything.  pretty horrifying, right?!  i promise to be better about throwing stuff away from here on out.

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