posted by: audra
okay, audra, becoolbecoolbecool…
you guys ready to lose your shit?! never mind the crappy perez hilton-esque art i’ve created, but alex was just screaming for a heart to be drawn around him! i just saw the new alexander mcqueen fall 2009 runway collection… & there just are no words to describe how amazing this stuff is. okay, maybe a few. houndstooth. houndstooth!! and lots of it! blacks! reds! big hats! gothic! big, fat, wax-like lips! birds! feathers! flocking together! ridiculous hats! models without eyebrows!
…and i can’t help but think that the hats he designed are a sweet little nod to my idol, isabella blow. she discovered alex, you know!
ready, kids?! brace yourselves…you may need to run & grab a towel right quick…your knickers will experience dampness…in fact, you might just come in your panties:
while you’re all in a fashion-tizzy, get your lube ready & watch this. it’s like fashion porn! awesome! and there’s even mention of edie beale. shit, i think my head may explode. isn’t this stuff just so fucking rad you can barely stand it?! oh…it makes my chest feel like hot cherry pie…& then i think of the smell of brand new plastic beach balls & realize that not every single person on earth is a complete moron. thank you, alex! i heart you real hard.
posted by: audra
i’m a hoarder. i’ll be the first to admit it, & i sort of like it a little. my bathroom items are the absolute hardest hit; makeup, lotions, potions, razors, creams…it goes on & on.
so sunday afternoon i decided to get rid of all this shit that falls out of the bathroom cabinets every time i grab some hairspray. whilst doing so, i compiled a horrendously long list. i still can’t believe all of this even fit in our tiny powder room! let’s take a look…
- 4 veet hair removal “razors”
- 1 pregnancy test, 3 years past its expiration date. i took it — just in case. i’m not pregnant.
- 12 nail files
- 3 empty tampon boxes
- 3 vibrators
- 6 (at least) bottles of dried up nail polish i’ve had since high school
- 18 bottles of good nail polish
- 1 package of gold sequins…spilled in the drawer(!)
- 19 full vials of perfume samples
- 4 empty hairspray cans; 2 sebastian & 2 bed head
- 1 full tube of lancôme faux gloss…it’s supposed to be silver, now it has a green tint to it
- 2 empty exfoliating scrubs
- 5 bottles of tanning solution, all full + tanning goggles
- 2 empty handcream jars
- 1 antique lipstick holder
- 3 empty mac foundations
- 2 sets of toe separators
- 1 dior lipgloss box
- 1 full bottle of ky lube…the warming kind
- 2 benefit cosmetics compacts
- 2 nars compacts, both with crumbled powder in them
- 1 empty mac mascara
- 2 eyelash curlers
- 14 (almost) empty mac compacts…to my horror, these cost me nearly $300…this isn’t including the dozens of mac compacts that actually made it into the trash bin.
- 4 full sets of lashes; 4 boxes of individual lashes; 3 tubes of lash glue
- 2 curling irons; 1 crimper; 1 set hot rollers
- 14 (!) burt’s bees lip balms, various, mostly the honey kind
- 3 empty narciso rodriguez for her perfume bottles
…and that’s not even everything. pretty horrifying, right?! i promise to be better about throwing stuff away from here on out.