posted by: audra
boo-fucking-hoo, you guys! you knew that the serious side of me — the “real me”, or whatever — wasn’t going to stick around forever, right? i could use a healthy dose of shallow right now, couldn’t you?! let’s look at clothes. maybe shoes. maybe even handbags. fuck it! maybe even sack-dresses & the return of baggy jeans on women! you only live once, right?!
jumpsuits. i still want one. and i’m still kicking myself for putting that awesome 80’s blue & black satin jumpsuit with the shoulder pads back on the rack at ray’s ragtime several months ago. biggest regret of my life. it looked kinda like this one:
and this betsey johnson one is so darling:
i am still sick of baggy jeans on katie holmes or whoever is wearing them. especially rolled up. god, it looks so retarded:
christ, just looking at this photograph makes me feel like i have scabies or something. like, when you put a jacket or sweater over something already long -sleeved, and then the already long-sleeved article gets bunched up & rolls up your arm as you put the other thing on…? you know what i mean? that’s the worst feeling ever! aside from putting on wet jeans, of course.
wow. grunge is apparently making a comeback on the runways, & this lovely frump-deluxe ensemb is from preen! enjoy:
where would one even think to wear that?! like for real! i can’t even fathom wearing that monstrosity to bed! so gross!
this next one is by charlotte ronson. i call it ‘angela chase joins the cast of gossip girl‘:
and that is the only thing i would ever consider going hiking in ever, if i were held at gunpoint to go hiking, anyway.
oh jesus. i didn’t intend to turn this into a fashion rant, but look at this:
boys, if saw any of you walking down the street wearing this, i would make fun of you. to your face. it’s skater-douche-couture. we can thank blaak for that waste of fabric & slave-labor.
mmmkay, enough bitching. you know what i wish? i wish more men would carry handbags. i know most guys could really use one or two hanging around. no bulging pockets! no broken sunglasses! no keys hanging off their beltloops! just look at these dashing young men & their purses:
see? plenty of room for your axe body spray & vitamin water. okay, but really… i’m serious. get a fucking bag already.
okay, just one more thing: so whilst you boys are working on that, i’ve decided to incorporate more polka dots and animal print into my wardrobe — together!
i’m pretty sure i could pull that off, you think?!