Tag Archives: goth

dear audra…

posted by:  audra

i was fretting that you were thinking of doing something stupid; so, just in case…

  • shampoos that claim to extend the life of your color-treated hair don’t stop the growth of your hair.  or your ‘ultra-platinum’ roots.
  • worms are disgusting & will ruin your brick patio.  i don’t know of an organic method to kill them, other than slicing them in half…but when i do, i’ll let you know.
  • marley dies at the end of marley & me, regardless of what your friends may tell you.  they are lying, and you’ll sob till your eyes puff up into unrecognizable globs of flesh.
  • beth ditto is the new jesus.
  • if you’re a dirty hippie & work at new seasons, don’t tell the “goth” girl that she’s wearing too much makeup.  it’s bad form & makes you look like even more of an asshole than your retarded hemp necklace-thing.  who asked you anyway?!  the day a drag queen tells me i’m wearing too much makeup will be the only day i start to cut back.  fuck you!  i’m still pissed. 
  • stop wasting your time on friends who don’t treat you with the love & respect you give them!  i can’t stress this enough, & i’m disgusted with myself that i’ve put up with shitty friends yet again.  will they check on you when you’re sick?  no.  will they respond to your embarrassing drunk-texts?  no.  will they call you to apologize because they’re being retarded?  no.  be done with them!  i am. 
  • boy joy is awesome live, but NOT OKAY to listen to recreationally! 
  • tell your friends to fuck off if they tell you that the notebook is a bad movie.  okay, it IS kind of bad…but it’s so good at the same time.
  • echo has an amazing happy hour, decent menu, delicious pumpkin gnocchi…and the music there is like our ipod on shuffle.  heart, heart!
  • vacuum the dark & scary places in your house.  sometimes icky, poisonous spiders reside there & may shock you with their presence at 2:30am.  don’t become a victim!
  • setting your cocktail down on the side of the tub while bathing is gambling with fate!  make sure you keep a stern eye on that shit, and don’t let it slide into the bath & shatter into a zillion pieces.  do you really want bloody footprints on the floor in the morning after your shower?!  think about it! 
  • speaking of broken glass….  for god’s sake, if you have a tommy-tippy vase full of flowers or whatever–and you’re drunk–don’t go anywhere near it! 
  • it’s october & the purr-fect time to be listening to clinic.  any album–but walking with thee  is the bestest for the season.  don’t worry; it’s not a jesus record.  i hope. 
  • shannon wright dyed in the wool   is also delicious this time of year.  turn it up super-loud on a cold, rainy day.  you’re welcome!
  • the hot girl with bangs & black hair across the street…?  her name is betsy.  BETSY!!!  how cute is that?!   but don’t be fooled; she WILL  see you do embarrassing things…like swatting at an insect on your patio chair with a shoe at 2am without makeup & wearing a fleece.  watch yourself at ALL TIMES.  there’s always someone there seeing you being an idiot!  YOU!  you’re the idiot!  be careful!  just sayin…
  • …and kevin federline across the street?  he’s ALWAYS there, watching your back.  respect him.
  • never, EVER “settle down”.  it is LAME & not necessary!  do you think vivienne westwood & betsey johnson are going to “settle down”?!  no!  don’t be lame.  just because you’re of a “certain age” doesn’t mean you have to stop being cool!  if i turn into a mommy who wears juicy couture, drives a suburban & dines at the olive garden…please make me a paraquat cocktail, isabella blow style.

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make-up art cosmetics…

posted by:  audra

…is a really dumb name for a company, don’t you think?  i particularly have a problem with the dash in makeup.  thank heavens they go by mac instead!  this is part two of my cosmetic review for the lush list, but this time we’re exploring mac(!).  i’m so excited for this…so very excited!  i absolutely adore mac products; they’re fairly inexpensive, good quality & dressed in black.  honestly, what could be better?!

i believe the first product of mac’s i tried was the select sheer pressed powder.  i wore this one for years.  the only real problem i had with it was cakiness after a couple touch-ups.  and i touch-up a lot…really, i have a problem.  oh, and it gets progressively darker throughout the day/evening, but i suspect that might’ve been the oxidation of my foundation…which we’ll discuss later.  so i switched.  to the blot powder ($21).  it’s more sheer, & it’s a little whiter than the select sheer, which is nice for my pasty & tasty complexion. i just now realized the irony:  that the blot powder is more sheer than the sheer powder.  huh.  interesting.  so, moving on…the blot powder does it’s job; it blots & acts (mostly) like a translucent powder, but it has a tendency to sit on top of the skin…not cool!  a lot of times i felt totally gothed out with my white face & dark eye-makeup…especially so when i had on red lipstick, too.   what a nightmare.  i would recommend the blot powder, but i’ve since switched to laura mercier translucent pressed setting powder ($30).  i’m much happier with her!

foundation.  i don’t really need it; i have nice skin.  i just don’t feel complete without it.  i love, love, loved mac’s select spf 15 foundation.  so, of course, they would stop making my shade (nc15).  sure, they make my shade in other products, but i tried the studio fix fluid & hated it.  it was much darker than the select spf stuff & made me break out.  it felt a lot oilier too…gross.  i went back to the select spf & tried another shade.  it still seemed too dark for me.  sigh!  i just gave up all together & bought some lorac.

okay.  lip gloss.  the lush list isn’t wild about glosses, but i live for them!  and i like to call them ‘lippies’.  other than dior, i firmly believe mac makes the best glosses glasses…plushglass, lustreglass, clear lipglass…oh god, i think my head may explode.  my standby is the clear lipglass.  it looks perfect over a sheer lipstick (my choice is a viva glam stick, but i’ve used it so much the shade number has worn off!) & doesn’t run when i put too much on(!).  it lasts longer than most glosses & stays on even during beer-drinking & lip-licking.  my other favorites are plushglass in nice buzz ($17.50) & lustreglass in instant gold ($14).  both are perfectly shiny with just enough sparkle.  the plushglass is fun with a little cinnamony-tingly treat in it!   and i like lustreglass for it’s little brush applicator.

i’m in lust with eye brows.  the pencil is super thin, self-sharpening & comes in a jet black shade called velvetone.  it goes on smooth, even when i’m shaking from being over-caffeinated & hungover in the morning.  loves!  $14.50.

mac’s eye shadows are rad.  pretty long-wearing, although not as long-wearing as nars…but good nonetheless.  again, they stopped making my favorite shade, suspicion.  it was this amazing black-brown with little gold flecks in it.  so cute!  right now i use a mix of black tied, smut (both velvet finishes), white frost (frost finish, obvs!) & a surprisingly nice shade of brown, called brun (satin finish).  clarity (matte) is fucking awesome.  i hardly ever wear it; i have a hard time pulling off really bright eye color, but i still love it!  clarity is the bright blue shadow on the left.  so cute!

one mac product i’m not happy with is mascara x, $12.50.  the brush shape is fine, but the mascara itself is somehow messier than any other mascara i’ve used ever.  i don’t know why.  it always ends up under my eyes when i’m doing my lower lashes & i just hate it!  so annoying.  zoom lash i’m not wild about either; the brush is just too tiny & pathetic.  the description of zoom lash is “this instant volume mascara power-lifts the lashes into length, curls them up…builds them faster than you can wink!”  whatever.  i just got a clumpy un-curled mess!  it’s terrible.  plush lash,$12,  on the other hand, is good stuff.  buy this one.  the tube does tend to dry out pretty quickly & cause flaking, but i just buy another fresh tube!

mac eye liners are amazing too!  my very favorite is the technakohl liner in graphblack.  it’s creamy, but stays in place pretty well.  blendable/smudge-able.  and!  self-sharpening.  love that.  i’ve been wanting to try their liquid liner, but haven’t yet…maybe soon-ish?  i tried the powerpoint liner awhile back, & wasn’t loving it…it sharpened weird.  and it’s waterproof, which makes it nearly impossible to remove…even with makeup remover. eye kohl is nice too, if you don’t mind sharpening it.  i buy it in smolder.  all the liners i’ve mentioned here are $14.50.

paints, $16.50.  these are cute little tubes of liquid eye color.  i wanted to love them, but i haven’t been impressed.  i bought some quite awhile ago & used it maybe once or twice.  from what i remember, it was difficult to blend & i recall some nasty flaking going on as well.  i may try to use it again, just to be certain that i hate it…but if i were you, i would avoid this mess!  i have heard really good things about the paint pots though:  nice pigment, long-wearing & blendable.

on to nail lacquer!  i love me some nail polish.  just recently, sam & i went shopping; i accidentally came home with something like 10 or 12 bottles of new polish.  whoopsie!  mac’s nail lacquer ($11), i think, is totally worth the eleven bucks.   where else can you get something named varicose violet?!  and steamy is a really good hot pink…it’s my favorite.  it seems to last maybe a little bit longer than drugstore polish, & it goes on smoothly.

okay.  i think that does it…but i’m sure i’m forgetting something.  i’ll dig around in my old makeup tonight & see if i can find anything else for you.  in the meantime, go to mac & buy some delicious lippy!  the makeup artists in the stores/at the counters are so hot & they’ll also do your makeup for you, free of charge!

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