posted by: audra
okay. check it:
last night, i did some exercise.
i did some more.
i have also read an entire book in less than 4 days & started another.
i’m not sure what’s going on with me, but i think it may have something to do with a little mini-mental-meltdown i had on sunday evening. i’ve realized that i have been lamenting about having a little extra cush on my tush for forever & we’re all way sick of it. but mostly, i’m pushing thirty & i don’t want to exit my twenties being unhappy with my fat-girl arms.
and i also want to read more because it will make me smarter, wittier, more clever & irresistible to be around.
so there. everyone wins! nobody wants to sit next to a dumb, dull fatty.
but wait! there’s more. i’ve decided to disclose to you my actual, real, bloody, raw weight. i’m not a typical girl in never wanting to reveal my weight, but it is a little humiliating to do in public. i did this to myself! mama’s lazy & the girl likes to drink. and sit. i can’t help it! ready? wait for it, suck in your beer gut, hold your breath…
my weight is one thing, my height — quite another. but anyway! i feel this will force me to keep it up; if i periodically write updates about my progress. so, get excited! your friend audra is about to get more attractive.
so, i’ve been seeing on the news & in the tabloids lately that mary-kate olsen has really been packing on the pounds. not that i read the tabloids, but when i’m loading up the conveyor belt with cheese & beer, i like to skim the headlines. when i saw that m-k was getting “fat” (indeed her weight skyrocketed past 100 lbs – really!) i picked a copy up & actually considered purchase.
it breaks my heart, this new m-k. some sources are speculating that she is “preggers”. i hate that word so, so much, and to see it printed in the same sentence as mary-kate’s name…it makes me sick. i like to think that she’s just been going out for too many tcby runs. just look at how excited she is with that gigantic bag of frozen yogurt…
i’m not sure where this next side-by-side photograph is from, but i do recall the website quoting star inthe article. so who knows how accurate it is…but look at how gross fat/pregnant mary-kate is:
typically i like a gal with some extra squishy stuff around the sides, but this just seems wrong. i love my m-k super-skinny, sickly & teetering on ridiculously high heels. i want her popping pills, smoking cigarettes & getting 2 hours of sleep every night. i love me an anna, & i’m not sure if i can deal with this. if the pregancy rumors are true, i have a backup obsession: model jessica stam. i got bored of karen elson. or, i could always go back to dita. we’ll see…