Tag Archives: douche couture

baggy jeans, man-skirts &….flannel!

posted by:  audra

boo-fucking-hoo, you guys!  you knew that the serious side of me — the “real me”, or whatever — wasn’t going to stick around forever, right?  i could use a healthy dose of shallow right now, couldn’t you?!  let’s look at clothes.  maybe shoes.  maybe even handbags.  fuck it!  maybe even sack-dresses & the return of baggy jeans on women! you only live once, right?!

jumpsuits.  i still want one.  and i’m still kicking myself for putting that awesome 80’s blue & black satin jumpsuit with the shoulder pads back on the rack at ray’s ragtime several months ago.  biggest regret of my life.  it looked kinda like this one:

and this betsey johnson one is so darling:

i am still sick of baggy jeans on katie holmes or whoever is wearing them.  especially rolled up.  god, it looks so retarded:

christ, just looking at this photograph makes me feel like i have scabies or something.  like, when you put a jacket or sweater over something already long -sleeved, and then the already long-sleeved article gets bunched up & rolls up your arm as you put the other thing on…?  you know what i mean?  that’s the worst feeling ever!  aside from putting on wet jeans, of course.

wow.  grunge is apparently making a comeback on the runways, & this lovely frump-deluxe ensemb is from preen!  enjoy:

where would one even think to wear that?!  like for real!  i can’t even fathom wearing that monstrosity to bed!  so gross!

this next one is by charlotte ronson.  i call it ‘angela chase joins the cast of gossip girl‘:

and that is the only thing i would ever consider going hiking in ever, if i were held at gunpoint to go hiking, anyway.

oh jesus.  i didn’t intend to turn this into a fashion rant, but look at this:

boys, if saw any of you walking down the street wearing this, i would make fun of you.  to your face.  it’s skater-douche-couture.  we can thank blaak for that waste of fabric & slave-labor.

mmmkay, enough bitching.  you know what i wish?  i wish more men would carry handbags.  i know most guys could really use one or two hanging around.   no bulging pockets!  no broken sunglasses!  no keys hanging off their beltloops!  just look at these dashing young men & their purses:

see?  plenty of room for your axe body spray & vitamin water.  okay, but really… i’m serious.  get a fucking bag already.

okay, just one more thing:  so whilst you boys are working on that, i’ve decided to incorporate more polka dots and animal print into my wardrobe — together!

i’m pretty sure i could pull that off, you think?!

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