Tag Archives: debbie harry

worst day ever…?!

posted by:  audra

i’m pretty sure it is.  not that anything really bad has happened.  yet.  except that i raked the shit out of my patent leather heel on a curb today.  i’m still feeling out of sorts, nothing is pleasing me at the moment, & i have a headache.  i was also blessed with my period this week, to compliment my sickness.  awesome.  i have a sick little period story to share as well, but i’ll spare you that for now.  hint:  sticky thighs (in a bad way!).

sigh…it’s actually not that bad.  i look awful though, really awful!  apparently not wearing makeup for 2 days will make me breakout.  that was news to me, too, kids!  or maybe it was just from wearing my eye-shade for 48 hours straight.  don’t fret — i washed that night-cream caked shit last night.

something else weird has happened to me this week…aside from the no-drinking/smoking thing:  i still haven’t been eating.  believe it.  last night the only thing that sounded halfway decent for dinner was some mac & cheese.  not only did i not finish it, i barely had half of it.  and that was a struggle.  and then for my morning breaks, i always have 2 low-fat babybel  cheeses.  today was like pulling teeth just trying to get one down!  maybe it’s because i can’t taste anything?  what would happen if i tried a hot dog?  would that turn on me too?  oh god…

but that’s not such a bad thing!  if i can keep this up, & perhaps do a little pilates here & there, too…i’m well on my way to getting the debbie-harry-circa-1976 body i’ve been dreaming of.  we’ll see…

in other news, over the weekend — i believe sunday evening — we finally watched the go-getter.  with my delicious boy-treat lou pucci.  it was….alright.  it was mostly boring, actually.  the soundtrack was cool though; lots of m. ward, elliott smith, black keys, animal collective…  m. ward did the soundtrack, so naturally he would shove himself in there as often as he could .  in a good way, though.  the cinematography was amazing…but it seemed to me they spent more time on that than the actual content.  not a film i would recommend.  unless you like that sort of thing.

speaking of which!  have you all seen nick & norah’s infinite playlist yet?  oh god.  i was so excited for it…not so excited i went to the theater, but excited nonetheless.  well, we watched it this weekend as well.  retarded!  i really found it profoundly dumb & irritating.  where was the infinite playlist?  i thought maybe they would make each other mixtapes & drive around all night listening to them?  no.  the boy makes a few compilations for his ex-girlfriend at the beginning of the film & she throws them away in the trash bin.  grubby little norah thinks he’s the best mix-maker ever, so she digs them out & listens to them.  there’s a really horrific part in the film that i just couldn’t handle:  norah’s dumb drunk friend is a gum-chewer.  she’s super drunk — in the train station i think — throws up in a bathroom stall & out goes her gum.  and her phone.  she drops her gum & phone in the vomited-in-toilet.  of course she goes in after both!  indeed her phone still works (?!) and declares the gum still chewable.  fucking sick!  that’s not funny.  nor necessary to the plot.  and this movie just reinforced my belief that michael cera is repulsive & kat dennings is gross & stupid.

and there you have it.  i’m just feeling sorry for myself today.  now i feel better!  thank you for listening!  i love you.

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audra: le xxx-mas dîner, resolutions & a coke-nail

had i been planning better, i would’ve pulled the camera out earlier last week, gotten off my ass & posted some sort of something for you to feast your eyes upon. but, of course, instead of using my snow days productively, sam & i laid about.  a lot.  aside from watching caligula & what we do is secret – twice, i have no idea what we actually did last week.  but i did discover that i wanna eat shane west even more so now after seeing secret.  even with his totally fucked-up-darby-teeth, he’s so delicious.  i no longer have to use a walk to remember as a masturbatory tool.  thank heavens.  that was getting embarrassing.

but anyway.   sam & i had a lovely christmas at home, relatively drama-free.  i even took some really gorgeous photographs of the super sexy standing rib roast with roasted fennel & crème brûlée…but it as it turns out, i was drunk, & the pictures didn’t turn out so hot.

i’m really lacking for material here, but i was thinking of doing up my annual resolution list.  it’s about that time, kids.  i think i’ll keep some of the same ones i’ve used in the past…you know, the easy ones, such as ‘fashion coke-nail out of left pinkie’ & ‘become best friends with an olsen twin’.  i should even keep the ‘lose 20 pounds’, but perhaps add ‘and gain back by next december’.  that’s sure to come to fruition…otherwise i’m just setting myself up for disappointment, right?

okay.  let’s get it over with…

*lose weight it’s terribly cliché, right?  but two years ago i resolved to lose 20 lbs & succeed, only to gain it back this year.  gross.

*drink less last year i said i would drink less only during the work week, & that it would not, under any circumstance, include nights of shows or anything social.  so then i resolved to drink more.  well, it’s gotten me all fat again, so maybe i just fucked myself there.

*gossip less this one is leftover from last year, too…but you didn’t hear that from me.

*buy more lusciously tall shoes because short girls can never be too tall.

*investigate hair bleaching although i have so much black hair dye in my locks that it would totally turn orange.  sigh. but i really wanna get skinny & morph myself into debbie harry in the 70’s.

*buy a good meat cleaver i don’t have one.  i need it.

*have dinner & drinks with the friends we always talk about going out with & never do i miss you.  you know who you are, you greasy little pepperonis!

*possibly try & get more sleep because after several drinks & some roofies, i’m no longer able to dream lucidly.

*become bffs with m-k or at least meet an olsen.  that would be okay, too.  i’ll settle for even seeing one from afar.

*learn to play my guitar again.  and better this time.

*fashion a coke-nail out of my left pinkie seems easy enough.  i could make it cool.  i could.

*roast a pheasant lame.  i can’t believe i didn’t accomplish that this year.

*wear more hats i have an enormous vintage hat collection inherited from sam’s glamorous great-grammy, & never wear them.   i’ll start wearing all my brooches, too, maybe.  & with my new coke-nail!  brilliant!

i think that about does it…wasn’t that fun?  i’m getting all sweaty just thinking about it.  for the moments leading up to the end of the year in mere hours, here’s some inspiration i’ve hunted down for myself…

june cleavers

pheasant!

new bff

future me

isabella blow. my hat idol. and in a mac store!

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