Tag Archives: blonde

the latest…

posted by:  audra

…disseminated & formatted in a way you can easily comprehend.  you’re welcome.

*some of your best friends may make friends with your landlords & happily offer to paint your sad, dilapidated looking house!  our house will be brick red by this time next week, weather permitting.  i can’t wait. 

*ryan gosling is a crazy-awesome, amazing musician!  look for sam’s review of dead man’s bones soon! 

*running into old friends at your neighborhood bar doesn’t have to be awkward!  even if you feel fat & greasy after a long day at work…

*that said, bingo nights hosted by the lyons club brings people together in a slurred, blurry, happy way. 

*…and speaking of greasy little piggies–laura mercier has a new product that will make even the shiniest, palest t-zone perfectly matte & not even cakey looking or orange!  it’s fucking uh-mazing, positively earth shattering.  it’s called smooth focus pressed setting powder, with a slight mint-green tint to coerce that pesky ruddiness into pasty tastiness!  here you go

*in other makeup news:  too faced now makes a mascara (called lashlight…how terribly clever) with an lcd light built right into the wand, & a tiny mirror plastered on the side of the tube.  pretty retarded if you ask me, but the beautiful drag queen at sephora talked me into it; it doesn’t flake, smudge or clump.  at $25/tube, i’d say go with dior diorshow for $24…but i can’t complain yet!  not a single black flake of dried mascara has fallen on my cheek since i started using it! 

*…and i’m currently trying out buxom‘s insider eyeliner.  not sure about it yet.  it’s supposed to be for applying to your waterline, all gentle & such…but i think the (self-sharpening!) pencil is too soft…?  i like it, but i’d rather pay $10 more for nars if they made a self-sharpening liner.  sigh…

*landlords bringing over a super-deluxe keyboard will change your life.  i’ve already taught myself joy division with the bass/drum kit split feature! 

*going out with your friends 5 nights a week will likely make for an uncomfortable, uneventful weekend.  beware of your surroundings when you discover that america’ s funniest home videos is the only thing on.  shudder. 

*lady antebellum’s ‘need you now’ is kind of amazing!  what. 

*it may take a month or so to grow out a bit, but once you’ve gone & bleached your black hair into blonde…another trim & bleach will make it perfectly platinum & delicious!  just stop dyeing your landing strip black, mmkay?  it looks weird when you’re blonde.

*finding out about my beloved alexander mcqueen‘s death via multiple text-messages on an already terrible early morning at work is so not cool!  (although, thank you for informing me, loves).  i am still incredibly upset, sad, distraught & on the verge of suicide myself!  discussion about that coming soon.  i love you, leealexqueeny!   

*this is now my favorite place in town.  to the two who yelped snarly reviews, fuck off.  the cute young kids who work there obviously don’t like you either, & i hope they spat in your tom yum goong.

*having your own roomy office with a space heater, door shut, not having to play receptionist, answering to a rad boss lady, getting business cards & streaming indie 103 all day long = pretty much the best thing ever.

*attending quiz nights at the bar might make you feel dumb!  be careful of the subject matter.  you know you’re a shoo-in with the boy band category, but if there’s a composer category, you’re totally fucked!  do your homework!   we’re called team speshull.  steal it & you’re dead fucking meat. 

*it’s cool if you love chevelle.  i heart them really hard, too. 

*slightly disgusting bouncers with fucked up teeth & long hair just might steal your heart!  why do you like him?!  who knows!  but he’s so cute & nice in a gross way…and doesn’t even card you anymore!  and he’ll totally smoke your menthol ciggies without wincing!  le heavy sigh…..

*when your husband’s coworker’s exhusband’s family doesn’t want a beautiful, perfectly kept vintage mink coat, and offers it to you…you fucking take it and wear it every day like edie beale would!  i love the live minkies just as much as the next animal rights activist, but this thing’s been dead for a loooong  time–i wouldn’t fret over it. 

*note the ‘crazy’ written on people’s faces from the beginning & take that as a big red flag.  do not engage in facebook drama with these people.

*love your friends.  they’re probably the absolute best anyone could ever ask for…ever!

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Filed under potpourri

oh. my. god.

posted by:  audra

mko for interview magazinesam was watching the news the other night, & scurried in to tell me to google mary-kate’s interview magazine spread for march.  anyone else but m-k, & i probably would have finished what i was doing first…but for her, everything stops.

christopher bollen interviews the better olsen twin in the march issue of interview.   i’m so, so excited for this…the photographs look amazing.  can she look any hotter?  really?  all pasty & tasty with her platinum blonde hair & smoky eye-makeup…?  sigh!  i just want to snap off her little bony fingers & eat them one by one whilst stroking her big head & gazing into her gigantic elfin eyes.  so delicious:

the wordpress police wouldn’t let me post the video of the photoshoot, & i think interview has already taken it down anyway… but you should take but a second to skim part of the interview here.  so good.  you won’t be sorry.  i promise! oh, and p.s…  remember when i was fretting about m-k being pregnant, months ago?  i’m so, so relieved those rumors proved to be false.  it looks like she slimmed down some, too.  thank heavens.

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Filed under fashion, mary-kate olsen, photo