Tag Archives: alexander mcqueen

um…

posted by:  audra

i know, right?  just be happy that yours truly has an important enough job that i don’t spend hours of the workday blogging any longer. or don’t be.  your choice.

the latest assorted treats, in list form…because i’m lazy:

*a single man.  um–turns out, tom ford, the love of my life, can direct!  so beautiful it’s nearly unspeakable.  just watch it.  so pretty….slow, but i promise it will hold your attention, hence the prettiness.

and speaking of beautiful films…

*antichrist.  i was all up in arms to see this months ago, and finally saw it the last weekend.  i have a problem with lars von trier even though i think he’s kind of amazing, but this film is brilliant.  SPOILER ALERT!  clit cutting & ejaculating blood.  combined with charlotte gainsbourg, willem dafoe & witchcraft = kinda perf.  but once you see ‘her’ whip out the scissors, look away if you’re faint of heart.

*this is old news now, but  trust me–if you make a group of your friends watch it, it will spark controversy & they’ll be talking about it long after you’ve slammed your ginger infused vodka & smoked 4 ciggies.   even if it puts you all in a tizzy & you think it has nothing to say… isn’t the mish accomplished?

*what the fuck is wrong with me that i haven’t blog-lamented lee mcqueen’s devastating suicide?!  what a tool.  seriously.

*whilst i love my favorite bar, i truly wish that i could dismember nearly every regular patron of that place.  and i’m so tired of the self-righteous, holier-than-thou fucks there that i can’t even stand myself any longer.  the gentleman i’ve affectionately nicknamed ‘headphones’?  he’s fine.  sam’s stalker?  even he’s fine.  but the retards who play quarters at the bar have got to go.  really?  you guys are like, 35.  and you have cat hair caked to the ass of your fucking skinny jeans & stupid hipster cardigans.  i’m not interested in you beating my awesome team at bar trivia, either.  fuck you, your douchebaggery, zig zags & loose american spirit tobacco.

*mos qui qui bites are sick, and you’ll totally look like a severe acne victim, post evening stroll up the street unless you protect yourself with pure vanilla extract on your pulse points!  it works–promise!  this learned after enduring 28 bites.  and actually, after discovering this super-important tip, i pretty much doused my entire body with vanilla extract.  you’ll smell like junior high (vanilla fields!), but i’m certain that it will keep you mos qui qui free.  but bees like it.  be careful, babies.

*landlords sometimes do awesome things!  they may actually clean up their shop/studio/rat’s nest with rad galvanized siding and leave a treat from their vacay to greece on your door!

*some quick product reviews from me that i know you’ve missed…

korres soft eyeliner pencil in black is rather… um, really good.  it glides on perfectly smooth, stays on & will set you back about 16 bucks or something.  take it from a girl who wears a whole lot of eyeliner.

sephora shadow also is really good!  even though i shied away from sephora brand stuff before, for whatever reason, it’s really good!  not spectacular, nothing special….just….good.  $12.

korres wild rose face shit is totally, perfectly amazing!  32 bucks will get you a humble little jar of awesome that smells good & makes your medicine cabinet look stylish.  and!  what’s even better, is that it only takes a tiny dab to make your skin nice.  you’re welcome!  my only complaint is that possesses a mere 6(!) spf.  fucking greeks.

more philosophy lip shine!  this time in bubble gum, yet i still want to eat it.  so awesome.  $10.

don’t buy this hairspray!  “brushable hold” and “lightweight” means that it doesn’t work.  at all.

*my jam right now, not to mention completely exquisite video:

*this too…..um, boys in stilettos & fishnets?!  sigh…

*…and this song which i’m totally obsessed with:

sadly, that’s all i have at the moment.  love you, miss you, mean it!

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the latest…

posted by:  audra

…disseminated & formatted in a way you can easily comprehend.  you’re welcome.

*some of your best friends may make friends with your landlords & happily offer to paint your sad, dilapidated looking house!  our house will be brick red by this time next week, weather permitting.  i can’t wait. 

*ryan gosling is a crazy-awesome, amazing musician!  look for sam’s review of dead man’s bones soon! 

*running into old friends at your neighborhood bar doesn’t have to be awkward!  even if you feel fat & greasy after a long day at work…

*that said, bingo nights hosted by the lyons club brings people together in a slurred, blurry, happy way. 

*…and speaking of greasy little piggies–laura mercier has a new product that will make even the shiniest, palest t-zone perfectly matte & not even cakey looking or orange!  it’s fucking uh-mazing, positively earth shattering.  it’s called smooth focus pressed setting powder, with a slight mint-green tint to coerce that pesky ruddiness into pasty tastiness!  here you go

*in other makeup news:  too faced now makes a mascara (called lashlight…how terribly clever) with an lcd light built right into the wand, & a tiny mirror plastered on the side of the tube.  pretty retarded if you ask me, but the beautiful drag queen at sephora talked me into it; it doesn’t flake, smudge or clump.  at $25/tube, i’d say go with dior diorshow for $24…but i can’t complain yet!  not a single black flake of dried mascara has fallen on my cheek since i started using it! 

*…and i’m currently trying out buxom‘s insider eyeliner.  not sure about it yet.  it’s supposed to be for applying to your waterline, all gentle & such…but i think the (self-sharpening!) pencil is too soft…?  i like it, but i’d rather pay $10 more for nars if they made a self-sharpening liner.  sigh…

*landlords bringing over a super-deluxe keyboard will change your life.  i’ve already taught myself joy division with the bass/drum kit split feature! 

*going out with your friends 5 nights a week will likely make for an uncomfortable, uneventful weekend.  beware of your surroundings when you discover that america’ s funniest home videos is the only thing on.  shudder. 

*lady antebellum’s ‘need you now’ is kind of amazing!  what. 

*it may take a month or so to grow out a bit, but once you’ve gone & bleached your black hair into blonde…another trim & bleach will make it perfectly platinum & delicious!  just stop dyeing your landing strip black, mmkay?  it looks weird when you’re blonde.

*finding out about my beloved alexander mcqueen‘s death via multiple text-messages on an already terrible early morning at work is so not cool!  (although, thank you for informing me, loves).  i am still incredibly upset, sad, distraught & on the verge of suicide myself!  discussion about that coming soon.  i love you, leealexqueeny!   

*this is now my favorite place in town.  to the two who yelped snarly reviews, fuck off.  the cute young kids who work there obviously don’t like you either, & i hope they spat in your tom yum goong.

*having your own roomy office with a space heater, door shut, not having to play receptionist, answering to a rad boss lady, getting business cards & streaming indie 103 all day long = pretty much the best thing ever.

*attending quiz nights at the bar might make you feel dumb!  be careful of the subject matter.  you know you’re a shoo-in with the boy band category, but if there’s a composer category, you’re totally fucked!  do your homework!   we’re called team speshull.  steal it & you’re dead fucking meat. 

*it’s cool if you love chevelle.  i heart them really hard, too. 

*slightly disgusting bouncers with fucked up teeth & long hair just might steal your heart!  why do you like him?!  who knows!  but he’s so cute & nice in a gross way…and doesn’t even card you anymore!  and he’ll totally smoke your menthol ciggies without wincing!  le heavy sigh…..

*when your husband’s coworker’s exhusband’s family doesn’t want a beautiful, perfectly kept vintage mink coat, and offers it to you…you fucking take it and wear it every day like edie beale would!  i love the live minkies just as much as the next animal rights activist, but this thing’s been dead for a loooong  time–i wouldn’t fret over it. 

*note the ‘crazy’ written on people’s faces from the beginning & take that as a big red flag.  do not engage in facebook drama with these people.

*love your friends.  they’re probably the absolute best anyone could ever ask for…ever!

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bad faux-mance

posted by:  audra

uh oh, babies…i discovered today that i’ve committed a majorly terrible fashion faux-pas.  and before you go snickering about my white socks with hot pink sequined flats, cuffed jeans & furry coat…THAT was in the privacy of my own backyard and was NOT meant to be seen by my hot neighbors.  who are they to be looking through our transparent fence, anyway?  none of your fucking business, pervs!  ANYWAY, so today i finally heard the new lady gaga on le radio titled ‘bad romance’.  i nearly shat glitter & champagne corks.  isn’t it the bestest?!  she’s my new obsession.  i hated the gaga before, and have finally decided that she’s kind of amazing.  anyways…so of course i immediately checked youtube for the video–i’m quite taken with hers–and you know what i got?  wait for it…. 

…she DEBUTED bad romance  at the alexander mcqueen spring 2010 ready to wear show!!!  what the fuck?!  seriously?!  i  blogged this AGES ago, and who’s the retard that didn’t actually watch the show, but took the easy route & just looked at the pictures?!  god.  whatever.  here it is, and it’s quite amazing:

did you look at those fucking shoes?!  uh-mazing.  and speaking of arranging music for fashion shows….sam & i would be soooo good at it, you have no idea.  can you even imagine betsey johnson fall 2011 ready to wear with le tigre‘s the the empty  on the runway?!  please!  your head would explode!

 anyone steals my bj idea & you’re dead fucking meat. 

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spring 2010 ready-to-wet-your-knickers

posted by:  audra

oh my god, how i’ve missed style.com!  seriously, i haven’t even been looking at stuff…that’s how pathetic i’ve been.  and today?  i went through all  the spring 2010 ready-to-wear collections.  some were way disappointing, like marchesa.  ugh.  and then i read that irving penn, one of my favorite-favorite photographers, and certainly one of the most well-respected fashion photogs EVER has bitten the dust at age 92. 

let’s take a moment of silence for mr. penn.

okay!  that’s enough…now onto the fashion.  there are a lot of limbs gone out on for spring, and i’m not sure which ones are good, and which ones are not so good…yet. 

alexander mcqueen spring 2010 ready-to-wear

i ALWAYS love, love alexander mcqueen.  this collection surprised me a bit; very reptilian-ethereal-alien-wrapped-in-ectoplasm.  i didn’t watch the show, but i can only pray to baby jesus that the church’s ‘reptile’ was the runway music!  and i looove the black pieces towards the end…i die for the very last black dress. 

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john galliano spring 2010 ready-to-wear

man, i looooove  me some john galliano.  i do.  i could eat him.  i’m not sure how i feel about this collection though….it’s sort of rummage-sale-secretary-costumey-chic had a baby with edie beale.  but i like it…?  kinda?  these were some of my favorites…

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wunderkind spring 2010 ready-to-wear

i’ve never been crazy about wunderkind…i think it’s only the name that i don’t like.  i’ve never given it a chance, but it caught my eye this time.  style.com wasn’t wild about this collection, but i think designer wolfgang joop did a bang-up job in black & blue…

you know i have a weakness for anything black, but i think these are truly beautiful.  would maybe be better with some plain, old, opaque black tights or some wide-fenced fishnets…?  but, whatever…i totally feel better now!  sweet fashion dreams, my loves! 

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couture bag lady meets headgear extravaganza

posted by:  audra

okay, audra, becoolbecoolbecool…

you guys ready to lose your shit?!  never mind the crappy perez hilton-esque art i’ve created, but alex was just screaming for a heart to be drawn around him!  i just saw the new alexander mcqueen fall 2009 runway collection… & there just are no words to describe how amazing this stuff is.  okay, maybe a few.  houndstooth.  houndstooth!!  and lots of it!  blacks!  reds!  big hats!  gothic!  big, fat, wax-like lips!  birds!  feathers!  flocking together!  ridiculous hats!  models without eyebrows!

…and i can’t help but think that the hats he designed are a sweet little nod to my idol, isabella blow.  she discovered alex, you know!

ready, kids?!  brace yourselves…you may need to run & grab a towel right quick…your knickers will experience dampness…in fact, you might just come in your panties:

while you’re all in a fashion-tizzy, get your lube ready & watch this.  it’s like fashion porn!  awesome!  and there’s even mention of edie beale.  shit, i think my head may explode.  isn’t this stuff just so fucking rad you can barely stand it?!  oh…it makes my chest feel like hot cherry pie…& then i think of the smell of brand new plastic beach balls & realize that not every single person on earth is a complete moron.  thank you, alex!  i heart you real hard.

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more cheap designer shit at target…

posted by:  audra

proenza schouler.  isaac mizrahi.  even sigerson morrison.  and now, for god’s sake…mcq alexander mcqueen for target.  i believe i heard it several weeks ago from nylon, & nearly passed out.  in a bad way.  it’s all fine & stuff that so many designers are now doing low-end lines for target, but it sort of sucks all the glamour out of it, don’t you think?  most of the garments come out looking cheap (because they are) & ill-fitting.  a couple of washes & they’re even more crappy looking.

the only thing semi-exciting about it is that mcqueen used the delicious leila moss as his muse.  then i read this little tidbit & was more excited to see the goods:

skinny jeans with studs, ‘50s-inspired circle skirts, and leather vests, all in shades of black, gray, and white…

really?  hmm.  well, the goods aren’t so good…

the black dress is really the only thing i would consider wearing, but it’s pretty hard to fuck up a black dress.  and actually, the little black blazer is cute too, but i suspect it’s just as ill-fitting as that ridiculous pink pillowcase with holes cut into it.  i don’t mean to sound like a snob, but if you’re going to wear alexander mcqueen, shouldn’t you wear alexander mcqueen?  with all that cheap poly & cotton, you would just know you’re wearing something from target.  i will say that this collection somewhat resembles that of his mcq line…but still — it’s target.  wouldn’t it be way cooler if it was for…i don’t know, h&m or something?

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what all boys should be wearing…

posted by:  audra

so, now that it’s nearing the end of january, i’ve found myself all in a tizzy about spring approaching.  in a bad way.  because after spring of course comes summer…& i’m not looking forward to sweating & having my thighs stick together.  again.  i really wish it could be perpetually 45 degrees & mostly cloudy.  some sun is okay, but too much is bad & causes me to freckle.  anyway…let’s look at some delicious photographs from my darling alexander mcqueen‘s fall 2009 men’s ready-to-wear collection in anticipation of october(!).  i never do men’s fashion & thought i should start. these are just some of my favorites, but you can view the entire collection here.

i think this one speaks for itself, don’t you?  it’s not very practical for running errands & such, but you have to admit it would add a bit of whimsy to picking up the dry-cleaning.

this suit with the cropped pants & fingerless gloves totally makes me wet.  so delicious.  i would sleep with anyone wearing this:

this one too.  anyone.  yum.

i love these skinny pants with the tailored jacket.  so cute.

not sure why i liked this one, i think maybe it’s the boots…but the model is soooo pretty too…other than those two things it’s mostly ridiculous.

this one’s fun.  it’s all business on top, but the pants & boxing gloves tell you that he’s not ashamed to go out on a limb for the sake of fashion.  god bless him.

i don’t like muscles, especially really defined abs, so this is pretty gross.  but, again, i liked the gloves & cropped trousers.

i love this.  here we have a perfect example of a classic suit, but edgy & modern.  loves.

this last one reminds me of a gladiator wearing a butcher’s apron, & we all know how i love meat…

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