Category Archives: celebrity gossip

indeed, what WERE they thinking…?!

posted by:  audra

i was milling through an online gossip rag, in the celebrity fashion section.  embarrassing, right?  where the fuck do they find these trolls?!  the critics, i mean.  seriously!  they just don’t know their shit.  at all.  and it got me so worked up & so fucking pissed that i couldn’t handle another second & had to put it to work.  i know it’s not vogue or harper’s…but it still just made me so mad!  let’s look…

exhibit a:  lady gaga.  i’m not wild about her in general, but really admire her fashion courageousness.  she’s always in some costume-y ensemb & almost always looks stunning.  i really liked this one, & the caption on it was this:

“love her or hate her, there’s no denying lady gaga’s unique sense of style. however, in this particular case, unique doesn’t mean fabulous; it means ugly.”

i swear to you, if i owned this dress & it didn’t exacerbate the genetic betrayal that is my legacy…it would be the going-out dress!  the sunglasses are retarded, but the hat & dress are just so. fucking. cute.  love.  i’m just livid they didn’t even mention the designer’s name.  of course!

next!

exhibit b:  madonna in louis vuitton.  i’ve mentioned this one before, and this was actually found in the “worst of the year” section.  it’s green!  feathers!  vuitton!  madonna!  sigh…

exhibit c:  mary-kate olsen.  it’s my girl!  and here they were ragging on her for her “pale skin” & looking like “courtney love”…and i love me some courtney, but this had malicious intent.  that’s two fucking blows to my heart in one photo!  m-k looks so amazing here…and her pale skin?  it’s healthy & not sun-damaged or spray-tanned!  gross!  stop doing that, you guys!  pasty is tasty!

exhibit d:  rachel bilson.  delicious.  i love her…so gorgeous.  in this one they couldn’t stop ragging on her “hiding her frame under a foul phillip lim creation” & “clunky christian louboutin booties”.  ten bucks says that if she would’ve been wearing something form-fitting or whatever, they would have said she should…you know, “eat something”…  sigh!

exhibit e:  drew barrymore.  here she’s at the premiere of the grey gardens remake.  i hate drew.  i really, really do…but she looks really film-appropriate here, don’t you think?   never mind the horrendously awful little edie portrayal she did…the dress & hairpiece are lovely.  edie would’ve loved it, too!

exhibit f:  bobby trendy.  say yes for pink!  he’s obnoxious, but i adore him.  and admire anyone who would wear this out.  fucking rad!

exhibit f:  kat von d.  love!  so fucking hot:  she wears tons of makeup, has tons of tattoos, wears mostly black & is terribly good-looking.  what is not to love?!  this website in question called her an “exhibitionist” & told her to “put her shirt back on”.  and then! one asshole made this comment on the photo:  “i love her too but she is getting a little chubby and needs to give up those pants!”  for real!  god, i hate people.

there.  i feel much better now.  it’s just all very frustrating…  whilst watching red carpet events on the telly, celebrities get ragged on for looking boring like this…but chastised when taking fashion risks like this.  so exhausting!  wear what you want, my little fashion tartlettes!  and for god’s sake, if you see a fashion blogger who rips apart my dita like this…turn your christian lacroix’d ass around & head the other direction.  good night.

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Separated at birth

posted by:  Sam

It’s Presidents Day Perezidents Day which means I got the day off of work. Instead of doing something productive with my time, so far  I have done nothing but waste my time perusing ridiculous online gossip rags.

I came across this picture a little bit ago while on Perezhilton.com (I know, what was I thinking?) and felt it was too good not to share.  Remember that story about the fourth grade teacher in Ohio working as a hooker on the side?  Yeah, how come at the time her mugshot was released I didn’t notice the striking resemblance to Corey Feldman?!  I mean, really!

Separated at birth!

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Oh Cho you didn’t!

posted by:  Sam

Oh Cho you didn't!

Margaret Cho didn’t really need to do anything else to make me love her more than I already do.  She is hilarious.  And smart.  And I always thought of her as someone you would want on your side if a fight ever broke out.  And(!) she hates Miley Cyrus.  Maybe even more than I do.

It’s not Cyrus’ music or her acting that irritates me… even though they both are awful.  It’s the way she conducts herself in interviews that gets under my skin.  Her speaking voice is terrible, she calls everyone ‘dude‘, and she constantly sucks her teeth.  It’s disgusting.  I know, I know, she’s only 10 or whatever… but really.  She makes me want to hurt someone. Oh, and did I mention she’s racist?

Dude look, I've got chinky eyes!

Yeah… with this little “funny face” she managed to piss off the Asian community and really piss off my homegirl, Margaret.  So much so, it inspired Cho to pen this little ditty.  Oh snap!

Miley Cyrus made some chinky eyes
Standing behind an Asian guy
I don’t know if this should fly
As if there wasn’t enough to despise

I wasn’t necessarily a fan of
Her, her dad, or Hannah Montana
I tend to prefer the songs of Rihanna
Racism against Asians is simply bananas!

Oh Miley!
Chinky eyes make you look wily
prejudice isn’t thought of so highly
it doesn’t make us all smiley

Why is there nothing that Asians can do?
To make fun of other races as easily as you
Why isn’t racism against Asians taboo?
Why are we always so racially screwed!

All you have to do is pull at your face
To make your eyelids resemble our race
This kind of joke has no proper place
Miley Cyrus is a disgrace!

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oh, anna!

posted by:  audra

today marks the two year anniversary of anna nicole smith’s death.  sam & i absolutely adored anna, & were avid watchers of the anna nicole show…mostly because she was a total trainwreck.  but also for bobby trendy (say yes for pink!).  and for the way anna belittled her assistant: the unfortunate looking kimmie.  so entertaining.

anna was really breathtakingly beautiful before she became crazy & fat, & then  crazy & skinny.  but anyway.  let’s all just pause for a second or two to remember anna, through her good times & her not-so-good times…

…smirk!

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i lv madonna

posted by:  audra

whilst standing in line at the whole foods the other day, i was perusing the magazine display like i normally would.  then in a moment of sheer panic, i spotted the february issue of vogue; i’d let my subscription expire.  shame.  it’s likely the first issue i’ve missed since i was 17.

of course i bought a copy, & i’m so happy i did…  inside the cover are these gorgeous, dare i say immaculate photographs of madonna she did for the new louis vuitton ads.  they’re set in what looks to me like a smoky little french bar with checkered floors & cafe chairs.  and she’s wearing fishnet tights.  what is not to love?

i had to hunt down some photographs to post for you, & in doing so i came across this article from the daily mail.  normally i love this british gossip rag, but it made me so pissed that i may have lost all my love & devotion for them.  you can read the whole mess in it’s entirety for yourself, but just some snippets from it say that she should ‘put it away’ and that she ‘strikes raunchiest pose ever’.  and that’s just the headline.

what the fuck?!  these are tasteful, sexy & very covered up, in my opinion.  they went on to say that they ‘seemed more lad’s mag than high fashion’.  jesus.  really?  they even said the older she gets ‘the more skin she insists on revealing’. hmm, well there’s hardly any skin revealed in these shots, so whatever.  i love them.  i love her.  fuck the daily mail.

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audra: evan rachel von tease

okay, i know…this is old news…especially since evan rachel wood & marilyn manson have now split…  but, i’m super-sick of seeing evan rachel prancing around trying to look like my dita:

remember when evan looked like this?

i always thought she was pretty in a gross way.  or gross in a pretty way.  but what the fuck is she doing?  can she be any more obvious?  i mean, she looks a gabillion times hotter all dita-ed out, but come on.  she even parts her hair on the same side.   i read somewhere that evan has “totally single white femaled” dita von teese.  indeed.  i wonder what’s holding her back from penciling in a beauty mark on her cheekbone?  i miss the days of dita & marilyn in wedded bliss terribly…

i’m feeling lazy, so you just get a couple more pictures to ponder…

discuss.

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audra: did mary-kate eat ashley?

so, i’ve been seeing on the news & in the tabloids lately that mary-kate olsen has really been packing on the pounds.  not that i read the tabloids, but when i’m loading up the conveyor belt with cheese & beer, i like to skim the headlines.  when i saw that m-k was getting “fat” (indeed her weight skyrocketed past 100 lbs – really!) i picked a copy up & actually considered purchase.

it breaks my heart, this new m-k.  some sources are speculating that she is “preggers”.  i hate that word so, so much, and to see it printed in the same sentence as mary-kate’s name…it makes me sick.  i like to think that she’s just been going out for too many tcby runs.  just look at how excited she is with that gigantic bag of frozen yogurt…

i’m not sure where this next side-by-side photograph is from, but i do recall the website quoting star inthe article.  so who knows how accurate it is…but look at how gross fat/pregnant mary-kate is:

typically i like a gal with some extra squishy stuff around the sides, but this just seems wrong.  i love my m-k super-skinny, sickly & teetering on ridiculously high heels.  i want her popping pills, smoking cigarettes & getting 2 hours of sleep every night.  i love me an anna, & i’m not sure if i can deal with this.  if the pregancy rumors are true, i have a backup obsession: model jessica stam.  i got bored of karen elson.  or, i could always go back to dita.  we’ll see…

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