posted by: audra
whilst i will stick by the well-known fact that girls don’t do gross things, ever, it has come to my attention that someone is violating this rule in my workplace. it is not someone i work with directly (i think), but likely someone in a different office downstairs.
after le lunch, i like to leisurely perform my afternoon makeupping rituals & brush my teeth, smooth my hair…whatever sort of maintenance that needs to be done gets done at this time. i like the downstairs loo, as it gets a lot less traffic & the lighting is much better. lately – and i use “lately” loosely, as it’s been the past 2 or 3 months – someone has been taking it upon themselves to “unwind” in there on a daily basis…and right before i do my daily grooming in there.
who. does. that?! every day?! not only the act of doing it at work, but leaving evidence behind! lots of it! fucking gross! the tweaked-out skanks i see at dive bars are even able to flush properly! jesus christ! i mean, really! am i going to have to start driving all the way to nordstrom to the ladies lounge area just to put on some fucking makeup at lunch?! get it together & leave your business at home, lady! i just want my bathroom back!
sigh. the even more disturbing part is that i’m pretty sure i’ve pinpointed the person who is ruining my life. we arrive & depart work at the exact same time every day. she’s much older than i…maybe in her mid-forties, & super dumpy. pretty much my worst nightmare. stringy hair, no makeup. baggy sweatshirts & mom jeans deluxe. and she’s got a wicked frump resting on her midsection.
anyway. i went 2 days in a row this week where i didn’t have to deal with any “evidence”, & that made me very happy. until today. it had returned, & i even tried getting back from lunch early! either flush twice, or stop eating activia or whatever! but you know, i shouldn’t even have to worry about stupid shit like that! how sad is it that a clean toilet bowl is enough to make better my afternoon?! really fucking sad!