posted by:  Sam & audra

audra:  you’re cordially invited into our home for a round of “surprises”.  the game of surprises involves one person picking random records you haven’t heard in awhile, or just can’t bear to not hear right this very second…without the other knowing until they can tell what it is.  then vice versa.  this is a live play-by-play by your two favorite drunkards & their favorite past-time.

…and, we’re drinking vodka on the rocks & drunk-blogging.  i think this is going to be good.  or really embarrassing.

Sam:  Probably really embarrassing.

audra:  okay, me first.  sleater-kinney!  all hands on the bad one.  god, this reminds me of when we had those separate apartments in the same complex, except that we would switch off staying at each other’s places…so we didn’t really live apart.  remember when we stayed in my futon all fucking day, unshowered, to watch a real world marathon?!  gross.  ‘the swimmer’ i said was my theme song.  so dramatic.

Sam: Yes… and “the bed”??!!  Gross, but equally awesome.  I had this disgusting twin bed, and the two of us tried desperately to squeeze into it.  It was terrible.  We would take all the blankets, pillows, and extra padding we could find and make “the bed” on my living room floor.  We’d spend days in that shit.  We are disgusting pigs.  I loved it though.  We’d fall asleep to Deep Forest or Delirium or Enigma (gross, right!?) and wake up and do nothing but watch marathons of The Real World or Bug Juice…. Sick!  This Sleater-Kinney record reminds me of that apartment so much.  Remember listening to it while eating turkey sandwiches on the patio and drinking tequila sunrises?  Oh god…

audra:  bug juice!!!  that shit was fucking awesome.  but maybe that’s the pedophile in me.  i know…and those cats.  taco?  orangy?  where are they now?  si?!  short for siamese.  of course.  crazy dana with her fucking kink-neck.  what a case.  anyway…  next!

Sam:  … Outkast!  This record reminds me so much of our real first place together.  Especially the time we spent there with Eddie & Sarah.  The dance parties to this record, ahh… The picture of Eddie & I dancing in the living room where his arm looks broken?!  Or, the Thanksgiving we spent there and had to throw away the turkey because it turned out raw even after it cooked for like 8 hours??!!

audra:  yeah.  that was terrible.  some poor turkey had to die just to sail down our trash chute!  shoot.

Sam:  God, that was terrible!  But really fucking funny now!  Nick Cave is on now!  Oh, how I heart Nick Cave.  “Murder Ballads” to be exact.  I love this album.  It’s so tragic.  I love tragedy.  Just not when it happens to me.  What is really tragic is, this record reminds me of an old friend.  One whom we don’t really speak to anymore.  Sad.

audra:  you’re welcome.  for the trashbin destined turkey & for the nick cave.  i love this record.  nicky is [one of] the only one[s] who can make murder sound so damn sexy.  ‘stagger lee’?!  sigh!  and i have reoccuring fantasies about dueting with him on ‘henry lee’.  i love the peej, but she can go fuck herself whilst nick ravages me & talks of tossing a boy down a deep well.  delicious.  oh, that friend.  yes.  fuck you, too.

….is that ani difranco i hear?!  to the teeth?  sweet jesus.  you bought this for me for my 19th birthday.  we barely knew each other, & yet you brought music & a bottle of good gin over.  bless you.  i’m not wild about a whole lot of ani, but this record is amazing…’soft shoulder’ is my favorite!  it has a slight bluesy bit to it & is so heartbreaking.  i would listen to it on repeat for hours…really.  late into the night long after you’d gone home.  i still love it.

Sam:  I remember giving you that CD and drinking that entire bottle of gin.  Oh god, we thought seeing her live was going to be so incredible.  I don’t remember much of that show, we were pretty hammered and totally high off of the excitement we had just found out we were going to Europe for free.  I don’t remember a lot of that show.  Damn.  Speaking of damn… you just put on Sophie B. Hawkins… definitely time for a cigarette.  Ugh!

audra:  shut.  the fuck.  up.  sophie b is rad.  early stuff, of course.  tongues & tails totally shaped me!  i should’ve added it to my facebook picks.  oh well.  anyway, you can’t deny that ‘damn, i wish i was your lover’ isn’t totally sexy!  it is!  really!  and her cover of dylan’s ‘i want you’?!  amazing.  i know it better than the original, & am not completely ashamed to say i would consider karaoke for that song.  believe it!  i will admit that it is totally embarrassing now, but, i was like 11 or 12 when i bought that record for the first time.  and, you can’t tell me you don’t think the hansel & gretel song isn’t hot!

Sam:  Hot or not, I can’t listen to it with out wanting to laugh.  I think your Sophie B. is my Sinead O’ Connor, and as much as I would like to listen to “I Do Not Want What I Haven’t Got” or “Universal Mother” right now… I am being nice and picking another fave.  Kate  Bush: “Hounds Of Love”.  Oh. Muh God.  I fucking love this record.  ‘Cloudbusting’ is my jam.

audra:  that was really nice of you!  thank you.  i heart hounds of love.  real hard.  ‘cloudbusting’ is amazing.  i wish i had something really good to say right now, but i’m going on being up for 22 hours & am getting a wee bit tipsier than i’d maybe hoped…  but anyway, back to kate — there are very few things better than ‘running up that hill’…radio single or not.  loves!

well, my pretties, it’s been fun…but we’re drunk & off to bed.  thank you for joining us.  this is to be continued, of course!  you’re excited.  kisses on all your naughty bitses & sweet dreamers, our little creamers!

game over.


Filed under Music

3 responses to “surprise!

  1. Pingback: queers, five years & saturday’s mistake: part one « art to choke on

  2. Pingback: surprise! part deux « art to choke on

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